I have not written in quite some time. An ironic fact given what I'm about to say.
I have decided during the many nights reading in my bed lately that I want to be a writer.
I've always kind of wanted to, all starting with the desire to write a book about my life being hard of hearing as described briefly in this post. I also had a strong feeling that I could write great erotica. I've read a lot of published erotica and some fan written erotica. I've spent a great part of my life creating fantasies in my head, stories that I continue whenever I can, especially when I'm about to sleep. I fine-tune them and continue them until I fall asleep over many days and months. I remember stories I've created years ago. I also noticed a lot fan erotica isn't always written well, which takes away from the reader's enjoyment. I feel that I'm a decent writer and editor but I also need to practice a great deal more.
I shared this news with my best friend the other night and she shared some good insight for me to continue. First she told me to buy the book and workbook called The Artist's Way, which is being shipped courtesy of Amazon. Next she told me to write as much as I can, hand written, documents, blogging, and other ways via the Internet. She also told me to write all sorts of things, personal things as I tend to do here, and others such as my erotica, fiction, etc. She suggested I also get a new blog. Which I'm probably not going to do right away, not until I get some grounds covered personally. To start, I'm sharing the news here and also some of my history with reading and writing, my own little short biography, so to speak.
As mentioned before, I was born hard of hearing, my parents did not discover this until I was 2 years old, the age when children start to speak. In my case, I was not speaking so they took me to get tested. Soon thereafter, I started wearing hearing aids, enrolled in a Deaf school, and took part in various therapies [adjustment for my family and I, and speech therapy]. I've always connected my late language and comprehension skills to my late diagnosis. Math, science, and art have been my strong points as a young child, reading and writing weren't always the best. Around first grade, I was not at an appropriate reading level. By second grade I jumped above my reading level but continued to have some problems along the way.
I don't recall having extra help aside from my passion for reading. I also really enjoyed writing poetry in my youth. Something that I've been wanting to get back to for a lot of my young adult years and now. Also due to my hearing, I process things very different from most and I take longer, I'm a visual learner which is probably why reading helps me so much. Seeing the words helps me process, but I still need time for it to boil around in my alchemic brain. Verbal learning is not very productive for me, but being verbal helps me tremendously. Another tip my friend gave me for writing, is to always read out loud. Blogging on it's own is another way for me to externalize things, understand them, and refine them. I also am poor at public speaking and pronunciation, mostly because I read so much rather than hear it. I rehearse and rehearse certain thoughts over and over in my mind, which at times, makes me appear to be a good speaker. Anyways, that passion for reading has stayed with me and I owe it to my parents. My dad could often be found with a book, and usually fell asleep with one on his chest. Something I eventually did to help me sleep. My mom didn't read as much as my dad, but whenever she did, she couldn't put a book down until she finished it. I have fond memories of my dad reading books to my brother and I, I can still hear his voice if I think about it. I have even saved a few treasured books from my childhood.
The dictionary has always been my best friend as well. Something I own to this day and continue to use. When it came to poetry or lyrics as a child, I always felt that I used words that made sense in my own mind that may not make sense to the general public. That feeling I still carry with me today, which I consider to be my biggest roadblock when it comes to writing. I cringe when I read old lyrics I have written, they are just very simple and immature. However, the poems I have written are good but still simplistic, understandable considering the age I was. Personally, I favor poetry that rhymes, which I know takes a great amount of skill.
When I got into high school, my sophomore year, I had a fantastic English teacher who I cherished. I don't remember exactly why but I was one of her favorites. She did enjoy my writing, only one of which I remember clearly. I was very much into vampires at the time and when we had a particular poetry assignment that I took inspirations from vampires. She made a comment on the poem calling me Anne Rice and gave me 100%. I remember now what also inspired me to write like that. I had a boyfriend at the time that was skilled at comedy and was fascinated by communism [particularly in a sort of comedic way]. He said something to me along the lines of when writing to compare things to communism. I guess in a way the result was just to change perspectives completely, to write from someone else's shoes. This poem thus ended up from the eyes of a vampire. I thought I had shared that poem here, but I have yet to do that. I do still have it and will share it soon. That assignment has stuck with me for years. Later on, not many years ago, I dated an English teacher and it reminded me how I miss having writing assignments. I did talk to him about the prospects of him giving me assignments for fun but we never did get around to it. Now I know it is something I must do for myself.
I started this blog while I was still in high school, after I deleted my Myspace account, where I blogged often. It started out cute and funny and gradually went into the depths of my mind only becoming more personal and thought provoking. When I got into college, I entered into the lowest English class, another proof of my lacking comprehension and writing skills. I had the same teacher for 2 semesters. I did not really enjoy him, he was very unclear of his expectations, which is counterproductive for that level of class. However, what I did take away from his class was a writing project centered around one thing of choice. I wrote all about Pluto, as described in the last section of this post. The poem shared in that post is probably the last poem I have written with exception of various poetic writings here on this blog. The following semester I had a wonderful teacher who didn't focus so much on creative writing but papers with ethical theses. I often wrote about Deaf culture and my stance on cochlear implants and the likes. I knew that I had built some sort of relationship with that teacher and she encouraged me greatly with extremely helpful criticism. That was my last required English class and I didn't take any further ones. Although, as expected, I did write a ton of papers for other classes. My favorites classes that involved writing assignments were the many Women Studies classes, Courtship & Marriage, and Philosophy of Art. This goes to say that one of my most treasured things in life is learning. Learning and literature serve as my biggest source of inspiration artistically. Paintings, writings, blog posts, and the million of ideas in my head all alike.
To delve into my inspiration more, you can look through some of the main writings on the subject:
"Music is Life?"
"Catharsis"
"Mad World" or originally titled as Power of Choice
"To Create"
""Where Are the Voices and Music?""
"What Inspires Me"
After compiling this list and skimming through them, I noticed that I write about the influences of the arts often. It is evidence how much all previously mentioned is so true to me.
To bring you to today and after externalizing all this I have to move forward and I have to continue to learn. I will list what I need to do here to serve as a reminder to myself. Hopefully I will have much to add and much to cross off later.
- Read The Artist's Way and do workbook
- Write everyday [handwritten and typed]
- write comedy
- erotica
- mystery
- personal stories
- fake personal stories about others
- draw and write comic strips
- poetry, many types
- thoughts and feelings
- art ideas
- film scene ideas and alternates to existing scenes
- opinion pieces
- reviews of any art medium
- crime
- science fiction
- religion [fake or real] ahem...uh existing religions and create original ones
- scenery snippets
- screenplay
- dare I put lyrics?
- Read everyday
- Really pay attention to the music
- Make art whenever possible
- Read own writing and others out loud
- Expose yourself to all that inspires you and disgusts you
- Post various writings
- Think/plan another blog
- Talk and question people about writing and various life experiences and perspectives
- Reread old textbooks, get new books on various topics and creative writing
- Ask for criticism AND take it well
- Create assignments similar to college papers
- GET EVERYTHING OUT ON PAPER and
- GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
Any suggestions, tips, experiences, and comments are severely welcomed.
I should also clarify that when I say I want to be a writer, it does not mean that I want to get published tomorrow, or even a year from now. Granted that would be great, but I am being very modest and perhaps hesitant. All in all, I want to do this for myself. But as the person that I am, in anything that I dedicate my time and heart to, I do want to share it so that does matter.
Thanks for joining me on this ride.
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