Hector and the Search for Happiness

I recently watched some of this movie while doing a client's dreadlocks and more recently I watched the whole thing at home. It is a great film although some people can argue otherwise. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it a great deal. It was cute, funny, yet deep enough to make me cry and share with you. I also ordered the book, which is from what I read less serious but gets the point across if you are open to it. Still waiting for it to arrive and I am excited to read it. Anyhow, I wanted to share the various points Hector wrote down during his search for happiness.

1. Making comparisons can spoil your happiness.
2. A lot of people think happiness means being richer or more important.
3. Many people only see happiness in their future.
4. Happiness could be the freedom to love more than one woman at the same time.
5. Sometimes happiness is not knowing the whole story.
6. Avoiding unhappiness is not the road to happiness.
7. Does this person bring you predominantly a. up b. down?
8. Happiness is answering your calling.
9. Happiness is being loved for who you are.
10. Sweet Potato Stew!
11. Fear is an impediment to happiness.
12. Happiness is feeling completely alive.
13. Happiness is knowing how to celebrate.
14. Listening is loving.
15. Nostalgia is not what it used to be.

Below are additional quotes I would like to share from this film.

"People who are afraid of death are afraid of life." This particular quote I have delved into before.

"And researchers just love to tell us, that money doesn’t buy happiness. I know what you’re thinking, how much do researchers make?
Everything in this world is going up. And happiness is going down, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
How many of us, I wonder, can recall that childhood moment when we experienced happiness as a state of being. That single moment of untarnished joy. That moment when everything in our world, inside and out was alright. Everything was alright.
But now we’ve become a colony of adults and everything is all wrong. All the time! It’s as if we were on a quest to get it back. And yet the more we focus on our own personal happiness, the more it is useless.
In fact, it’s only when we are otherwise engaged, you know, focused on, absorbed, inspired, communicating, discovering, learning dancing, for heavens sake that we experience happiness as a by product, a side effect. Oh no. We should concern ourselves not so much with the pursuit of happiness, but with the happiness of a pursuit."

 A few of these quotes hit home for me and I'm sure for many others as well. The realization that we view happiness as something to occur in the future. I know I have done that ever since I was a child. I always said that I couldn't wait to grow up and have my own life, my career, my own house, my happiness. With that in mind, I know that happiness is all around me, there are plenty of moments where I am happy but I also know that it is fleeting. Why do we feel that unhappiness is default? It is detrimental to actual happiness. I loved in the film where they discuss that avoiding unhappiness is not happiness, we must dive into the things that we avoid, avoidance does not create happiness. Everyone knows that but avoiding the avoiding is easier said than done.

I love the beauty in the simplification that happiness was a state of being when we reflect on our childhood. I cannot think of a single person that does not feel this as well. And it's true! We are trying to always get back to that moment. I feel that it is also true that if we at this state of mind were able to watch from the distance our young self experiencing that precise moment that it would not feel the same. Our minds change, thus our happiness changes.

Happiness is a noun while to be happy is a verb. Both are something people seek whenever they can, but when do people truly acknowledge their happiness in the moment. Carpe diem! Enjoy the little things! What an amazing thing that makes us uniquely human to desire happiness. Happiness is so greatly subjective to each individual throughout his and her life. One day something could make you happy could no longer create that outcome another day. So for my life at the moment I would like to list some things that currently make me happy, at least those that can come to mind.

Writing
Being around friends
Sex
Food and thinking about food
Reading
Painting and creating
Sleeping
Shopping
Wearing clothes that look great
Smoking hookah
Having beautiful conversations
Spending time with my parents
Dogs
Building something
Learning about anything
Having my own place
Attending parties
Music
Concerts
Having drinks with great people
A bottle of red wine
A comfortable couch
Viewing cute pictures and videos
Silence
Feeling attractive
Binge watching television shows
Remembering my dreams
Gifts
Meaningful jewelry
Cooking
Watching movies and going to the theater
Not sweating
Sore muscles after a work out
Swimming
Free things
Talking about sex
Making progress with a student
Accomplishing goals, small and big
Being myself
Warm showers in winter
Masturbating
Kissing
Meeting new people
Deep conversations with strangers
Bonding moments with friends
Texting love notes to friends and lovers
Making lists
Affection
Massages
The ocean
A campfire
Beautiful sights in nature and space
The smell of a lover on a pillow
Profound thoughts while driving
The feel of a book in my hands
Discovering new things to like
The moment of inspiration