Likes Me. Likes Me Not.

First of all, this enormous well of knowledge I acquired from my Courtship and Marriage class was and is invaluable to me. I so badly wish I could share it with you all, but that's a lot of info. Perhaps I will try. But before I begin on one little thing I wanted to share I will list any posts I've made in reference to this class.
Caged
Sex. Sex. Sex.
Marriage
Mad World
The Power of Choice
The Very Things That Make You Live are Killing You
High Infidelity
The Meaning of Making it Work

Going through these, I realize I never actually talked about the content of the class all that much. I mentioned in several other posts that I was going to get back to it but I never did. That's definitely what being a student did to me, negligence of my creative and passionate outlets. Anyways, I need to change that, drastically. I will start by sharing this article. Although it is a brief article, it does hold a great deal of truth. A part that really stood out to me was the little list of of key elements in your potential love interest:

• Each of you is genuinely interested each others’ day-to-day lives, dreams, goals, likes/dislikes, and so on.
• You ask each other open-ended questions, prompting for more information and details.
• You show signs of affection like smiling, laughing, touching, holding hands, etc.

It dumbfounded me how the went on to say that if this person does not participate in the listed items, well they just don't like you that much! Duh! *Hits self on the head* This is brilliant! I mean, I've been pretty informed on the whole "not that into you" stuff, but this is a different aspect to all that. And it's so true because if you like someone, you inevitably engage in these actions and usually without giving it a thought. You like them, so you like them! There's obviously something more negative going on in their mind if they can't do any of these simple tasks.

Furthermore, they listed the four horsemen of the apocalypse in relationships as taught in sociology.

1. Criticism
2. Defensiveness
3. Contempt
4. Stonewalling (shutting down communication)

If you really think about any of your previous relationship experiences with these in mind, it begins to really make a lot of sense. More mind-boggling stuff indeed.

And finally, the ways in which you can create more positive communication in "negative" situations.

• Approaching the conflict calmly and with empathy.
• Talking about your feelings, not the other person’s actions.
• Avoiding making accusations.

This is great information because I personally hate arguing and I take everything really sensitively and as an attack. Which interestingly is most likely the root of why I never confront others because I don't want them to ever take it as an attack...oh sweet realizations. Why do we have to be so complicated?