I just got in last night, a little later than expected. Usually I get really stressed out about the driving itself, it's gotten easier over the years, but it is so much less stressful now. Now that I drive all over the state for work, it's given me more confidence to drive on different terrain and scary roads. What I was stressed about was that I wasn't going to be there as early as I had hoped. I got off work really early yesterday but I still had to pack and prepare everything because procrastination took over during the week. Packing my clothes and creative and electronic mediums was quick, but packing food into a small cooler took way more time than I had liked. I prepared cut vegetables and other snacks this time, usually I just buy a few things and put it all together. Either way, I made it safely and early enough for dinner.
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| This and the photo below are my first time experimenting with long exposure shots taken with my phone. Not special, but still cool. |
It was in the 60's when I got in, which felt really nice. At first I was really cold, but then after hiking and walking around I no longer needed a jacket and just sported shorts and a shirt. Dinner was wonderful as usual. After I ate, I hiked back down to my room. It was mostly pitch black, with a little bit of light along the trail. I held my flashlight to help me see where my feet where going. I was thinking about all the desert animals and insects that could possibly come upon my path. Snakes and scorpions being the main ones, but I didn't see any. However, as I was walking I was thinking that there could be an individual sitting in the dark and I wouldn't know it. Somehow that scared me more. It's usually super safe here but that thought had never occurred to me in the 8 years that I have been going here. That's just how I tend to freak myself out and with all the creepy ass movies I watch. The more I did think about that, it occurred to me that I would rather it be a creature than a human. Sadly enough, people don't necessarily need to be provoked in order to attack you, whereas most wild animals do.
As mentioned in the past, I have a lot of traditions and routines to do when I am here. So after dinner I like to sit outside my room and stare at the sky and scenery. Since it was dark and NOT cloudy for once, I got to see all the stars. It was so gorgeous. It kind of a rare occurrence because often times when I come here it is cloudy or the moon is incredibly bright and obscures the stars. Due to the amount of stars in view it's harder for me to recognize the usual constellations that I know. Thus, I quickly downloaded one of those apps that lets you hold your phone towards the sky and it tells you what you are looking at. Mars was the brightest, Scorpius, a constellation I recognize anywhere was just below the horizon out of view. Another thing I noticed right away that there were creatures flying low back and forth across the path of the quest rooms, just slightly above the low roof. After trying to stare hardly in the dark and even utilizing my crappy flashlight, I happily discovered they were what I expected, bats! It is amazing how fast they fly, for it was really difficult to be sure it was them. It was like a little show that I thoroughly enjoyed watching.
After sitting outside until I felt my body cooled enough after the hike, I retired to my room and listened to soft music and read more of The Haunting of Hill House, which is already a creepy book, makes being here just a little creepy. It was a fun read. The room only had a couple harmless spiders hanging about and nothing else that I had to catch and remove. It was surprisingly not very cold, almost not cool enough as I kept the window open all throughout the night to let air in through the screen. I was pretty tired and fell sleep early. They made new furniture for the rooms and while they look nice and are more practical, the bed is harder and a bit uncomfortable. I slept okay, tossing and turning a bit, but still dreaming about who knows what. I also noticed that the room is cleaner and has a fresh coat of paint. They have finally done a little updating.
I woke up early, had some food, did some writing and noticed that some ants had found their way into my room. I did not kill them but waited until I got dress and ready to kick them out the door. There's an ant hill just outside my room in the crack between the concrete slabs and there's a few small cracks of space for them to enter my room. I just now got them all out but who knows if they'll think it's worth coming back in to explore.
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| I also experimented with taking panoramic shots. Click for a larger view. |
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| This guy is missing the top part of his head! Haha |
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| The sunset was so bright, that it just looks like everything is on fire. |
Nov 5th: I'm back home now, but will write the rest of my trip out. After a little bit, the ants did come back. At first I thought they were coming in through the door jam, but there was a missing piece of concrete or rubber from under a small part of the floor to ceiling length window. But it took me another day to realize that. About 10 ants at the most would be in my room at a time. They were looking for food crumbs, they found a couple but I keep everything clean and all my belongings above ground or in the cabinets. I did not kill a single ant, for I am smart enough to know that would create more problems for me. They mostly left me alone but I had to make sure I didn't step on any. About every 10 minutes or so I would literally kick them out the door, sliding my foot along the ground to shove them out without any harm.
Between reading and writing, I found myself just staring off and watching the ants. I realized a funny thought, when I come here, I don't usually people watch, I bug watch! It has always given me a weird sense of peace, but also control so that I know where everything is and keep myself safe especially from scorpions and spiders. Since it is colder, there's less creatures around. There were only ants, grasshoppers, mosquitoes, and I saw one scorpion on the night of my birthday, which I found appropriate.
I spent all of Saturday, writing and reading in my room. I left the premises once to get ice, a snack, and Q-tips. I also went to the main office to buy a shirt! In all these years I realized I never once bought a shirt there, so I planned to before I even got there. It got into the 70s during the day. and 40-50's at night which oddly didn't feel so cold. I packed pants and jackets but didn't need them. It all felt so good. Prior to dinner I went to my usual sunset watching spot. I always bring some wine, a book, and even my headphones to listen to music. As soon as I sat down, the combination of the view and the song playing, I started to cry. I could not stop, it was a nice release. I tried to wipe all my tears away prior to heading to the cafe for dinner. My eyes were swollen and my nose was red from my allergies. The cafe was a little busier than usual but I took a spot in a dark corner to eat by myself. Food was great still. It's the only meal I eat there and I always get seconds to fill myself up before the next day where I just eat snacks throughout the day.
When walking back to the room, it was even darker than the night prior and a little colder. I sat outside my room to watch the stars and the flying bats. Less stars were visible but it is all beautiful nonetheless. Once back in my room, I listened to music and read some more.
The next morning, Sunday, my birthday, I woke early and decided I would explore before it got warmer. After some reading, eating, and kicking out more ants, I got dressed and took a walk. I walked my usual path, took some photos, and even decided to take a new path, a path I wasn't entirely sure I was allowed to even be on. I saw tracks but no animals this time. When I walked down towards the parking lot, away from my room I was able to get service on my phone and all my texts and calls came in from loved ones wishing me a happy birthday. It was nice. I took a handful of really neat photos throughout my stay.
After exploring, I went to take a shower to cool off. I had finished reading The Haunting of Hill House and wanted to rewatch the one of the movies inspired by the book, the 1999 The Haunting, which I saw in theaters when I was a teen. But the power went out in my room. I figured it was out in the whole block of guest rooms, since the wifi was out as well. I decided to wait some time to see if it would come back on, not knowing if it was just temporarily turned off because they were working on something or what. After close to an hour I decided to walk to the parking lot and call the front office, the line was busy every time I tried. I tried a couple more times. Then I decided to call another number and a guy answered, rudely, he explained something but I couldn't really understand him other than his unhelpful tone, and did not feel comfortable asking him to repeat himself. Thus I decided to drive up to the main office and found out that the power was out in the whole area/town. They had no idea what happened or when it would be back on. It came back on about 4 hours later. During that time I just caught up on another book I've been reading, The Book Thief. I was able to sit outside and read as well. This day was cloudier and a little bit cooler.
Then it was time to go to the sunset spot and hang out until dinner time. On my way there I notice a voicemail and text from my dad wishing me a happy birthday. It always makes me cry when he does this. Part of the reason for this is that many years ago, on my 19th or 20th birthday I was dating a guy and stayed at his house the night before my birthday. I had a really sad nightmare/dream that my dad was dying. It was a short dream, we were walking and having a conversation that alluded to his death in the immediate future. As soon as I woke from this dream I noticed I was crying already, I then looked at my phone and my dad had left a message singing happy birthday to me. It made me cry harder, and has ever since. As I walked to my sunset spot, I noticed another lady walking to the exact spot so I altered my route and sat somewhere different but closer to the direction of the setting sun. This particular sunset was so gorgeous and bright. A nice little birthday gift from nature.
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| Birthday sunrise |
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| Birthday sunset |
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| Another panoramic |
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| Google is creepy sometimes. It made this collage for me. It just happens to be a picture taken in the exact same spot, of my face, in a slightly different angle, 4 years apart. The left photo was just a couple days before my 28 birthday, and the right one is one day before my 31st birthday. How lovely, I've only aged a little :) |
Dinner was subpar, I noticed on Sundays they have a more simplified meal, and probably in part due to the power outage as well. I ate quickly and went back to my room to read more and have some wine. I bought so much wine for this visit and I hardly drank the usual amount. I mostly drank water while I was there and peed a million times. To sum up, my birthday was nice, simple, and beautiful.
This morning I woke even earlier than the last couple of days, and decided I would watch The Haunting while eating and packing up. I always look forward to leaving because I go to my favorite Mexican restaurant as I head back into town. I noticed as I was driving back in the city that unwanted thoughts started to make their way back into my mind. It is so amazing how easily my mind shuts them off when I'm visiting Arcosanti, without even realizing it! Often I don't realize how much I need the trip until I come back home, but this was a different kind of feeling. I knew that even before the trip how badly I needed it, I planned it at least a couple months prior and could hardly contain my patience. I just hope the effects and afterglow stay with me a little longer as I go back to work.
Originally I titled this post "Arcosanti Year 7" but then an old post on my Instagram reminded me that my first visit was in 2010. So 8 years, going strong! I know there was one or two years where I didn't make it, but there were a couple years were I went twice rather than once. In the last several years I have only been going once a year but I hope to make more of an effort to go twice. It's just a little harder because it is definitely more comfortable to go when it is colder, but the upside to going during the warmer months is that the swimming pool is open. We shall see, maybe I'll go next spring. This time around I was wondering that my frequency of visits has made this place really comfortable to me, and that the effects may eventually wane, but I remind myself that despite and in spite of the comforts, I still get something from my visits. That of being away from others, being away from society to an extent, being in nature, and shutting off a large part of my brain I cannot otherwise do anywhere else. I also love that I hardly speak. It is always weird when I come back home, I almost have to relearn and re-acclimate myself to society and social norms, even after only being gone 2-3 days.
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