New Romantic Horizons

Last weekend I went out with a couple friends to a gay bar to celebrate a birthday. I met some people for the first time and had some awesome conversations, very inspiring. I talked with a woman who had just gotten married a couple days prior. We talked about me as a person and she asked why I was single. She said that I was a catch, and didn't understand why I was single. I talked about considering getting back on online dating but hate how difficult it can be. She inspired me by telling me that she had "gone on a hundred online dates" and met her exwife, and then a hundred more online dates and met her current wife. She told me to go for it. So the next morning, I did. I reactivated my account that I had made just after my brother's first overdose. The timing couldn't be more ironic or whatever word fits best here.

That first time I made the account, it was a lovely distraction that filled the time that I suddenly had, kept my mind temporarily off of the duties of helping my brother get better. I had met a couple people in that time but nothing promising, eventually I deactivated the account. Three years later I activated it again, met someone but it didn't work out, and deactivated it again. This is the third time I have reactivated it. So much time had passed, I revamped the entire profile and all the questionnaires associated with it.

The site has changed dramatically from what I remember it to be, making it similar to Tinder in the sense of swiping left or right. It makes it difficult to talk to people unless you both "like" each other. I had several people with high matches, only a few catching my attention. I found one in particular that spoke to me, as soon as I hit the "match" button, it revealed that he matched with me as well, opening up a line of communication. I waited a full day and a half or so to see if he would message me first. He had not, so I decided to go for it and sent him a quick message and my mind was full of excitement, to the point that I couldn't think of anything else, just waiting for him to reply. He did a day later and we talked a couple times about a few things and then eventually exchanged numbers. After texting often for 4 days, we met in person.

Our first date was last night. My first date in several years and probably the best date I've ever been on. We met at a coffee shop, instantly hitting it off. From there we went to a hookah lounge, dinner, and then hung out at my house. He didn't leave until earlier this afternoon. It was rated R for sure but did not involve sex. I am very big on not having sex with people too soon, I have to exercise a great deal of self control. We talked about everything we could, deep things, including things with my brother, my family history, my political views, religious views, struggles with relationships, sexual preferences, etc. He shared a lot about himself, we understand each other fairly well for knowing each other so briefly. I have never felt so comfortable on a date before. There is immense mutual attraction. I have never felt so desired and wanted like this before. It is intense. Glorious. It is very promising and exciting thus far.