A week ago, you called an left me a voicemail that changes not everything, but a lot. It came far sooner than I had expected, if it was ever going to come. Mom triggered that phone call, I'm glad it happened but wish you would of figured it out on your own. But still it happened and I know how difficult it was for you to do. You apologized. Apologized for the first time in seven years.
Today we had lunch, something we have not done in a few years, something I had not wanted to do before but was open to everything you needed to say today. I listened. I felt for the first time that you mostly listened to me as well. We said a lot of things that needed to be said, and we didn't lash out, we had a mature conversation for the most part. We set boundaries that are needed for the both of us. Hopefully the hurt will be able to disintegrate faster now. I am still working on forgiveness, and that will come in time. All of this will come in time. I hope from this you will be able to move forward. And that I can too. Relief is a better feeling than hurt. From this I hope we can create something new and better for the both of us. I will always love you, but can only be so involved in your life. I still have to protect myself. I still don't trust you, this relationship will be very one sided, as it has been, for longer still. I've accepted that. I've accepted a lot of you, but the moment you have nothing nice to say, I will shut you out. Until you apologize again. It is a work in progress, I have no expectations and need no promises.
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