Why does it take life, a child, for someone, an adult specifically, to appreciate the concept of life and living?
Why do children have to be the ones to bring youth back?
Why does having your own children have to complete your life?
Why does not having children have to mean that you are unfulfilled?
Why does having children or being in their presence have to make you appreciate anything?
Why can't you appreciate anything that you are, that you have, that you lost, everything in front of you?
Why does death have to make you appreciate others?
Why does a near death event make you want to live and love again?
Why does death have to be a surprise at all?
I understand the answer to all these questions and how the general public reacts to it. But in a specific perspective that I'm approaching it as, I disagree with the notion of all of them. Or I should say that I dislike that any of these things has to be the case in terms of appreciating the life you have and live.
I watch the way strangers and acquaintances react to children. It's almost more interesting to me to watch the adults rather than the children. I understand the thoughts running through their minds, but I almost feel pity at times. Yes, children are interesting and pure and bring up personal memories. But why does being with or around them have to be one of the few instances in a lifetime that inspires life appreciation? This thought alone, is what saddens me. Why do they have to be one few people or events that bring out the youth in yourself? Life, whether you're living or dead, is always occurring. It is beautiful all on its own. I often find myself merely in awe of the fact that my body breathes for me, so much that I end up holding my breath unintentionally. I could stare at my reflection all day just to see my expressions, the face that is both my mother and father's, my eyes and how they respond to light and dark, my ever evolving skin, and so on.
This is not solely about children and having or not having them. This is solely about the act of appreciating one's own life. And appreciating death. There is no life without death. Everything dies. So why is this always a big surprise? I embrace death just as much as I embrace life. It is not only logical but beautiful as well. I can't remember the day I ever feared dying, it just hasn't happened. I do fear pain, some pain. But I embrace that most of all because it teaches me so many lessons, emotionally, physically, and is something that happens to me every day. I feel like living, alone, is constantly a near death experience. You could die at any moment, really. But the "major" events are what inspires people to change their perspective on life, whether for the rest of their life or only temporarily. While I'm glad that this affects anyone at all, it's also a little saddening as well. Why does everything have to be taken for damned granted? I've been living with this thought my whole life. I do it too, I'm not perfect but I always take the time for myself to really think about the amazing things about life, big and small. I absolutely love the way the brain works, the patterns it makes. That alone is something I appreciate and all the thoughts that come from the patterning my own mind makes for me. All the paths I've taken and not taken in life, the good and the bad things that bring me to this exact moment. All the people I have met from one time to another. The friends, the enemies, the lovers, and family. They have all made their way into my little life and me in theirs. This own circle of life, it's wonderful. You have to live to die. Why die to live?
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