9.08.2009

One or the Other. All or Nothing.

I was reading some of my older posts, a lot around the time I broke up with my last boyfriend and regarding times spent with the guy I met after wards. The post of My Views and R, specifically are what I want to touch on. First, R, talks about my issue with self control and this dire need for balance. With that in mind I want to bring up something I've realized with a help of a friend. I like to call my time with him "Scorpio therapy." He's an older me, along with my Scorpio female friend. I also just realized with me being the youngest, there's three years between us in increasing order. She's three years older than me, he's three years older than her. Also, my birthday is in the beginning of November, his is 7 days later, then her's is 7 days later from his. Interesting. Anyways, I'm trailing off. Him and I were discussing our "extremist" nature as Scorpios, no gray, just one or the other. We can never do things moderately, we always overdo it or put so much into it. I feel that way with a vast majority of the things I do whether it's simple as arriving somewhere at a certain time to working on a project to pursuing or dating someone. So, I think, I may never find that balance that I wish to seek. Heh, I'm laughing about it now, but I do think I've lost hope for that. I mean, for the most part I don't want to cease being an obsessive person. No, absolutely not. But I sure as hell don't want it to be a problem either. Ha, damn extremities and polarities! I live in them.
This makes me wish my hair was still split in half, because that is exactly how I am. I have always been aware of both sides of things and sometimes somehow I incorporate both, but never have been the in-between. See, I don't even know how to describe that. I crack myself up with my wackiness. It'll never end. Who the hell would put up with us? Guess it's good we hide a lot of ourselves because really, everyone should hate us. We are a perfect example of all that is good and all that is evil. All at once. All or nothing.

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