A few months ago I got a new phone. It's fantastic, the battery lasts 2 days and I can hear pretty good on it. It is a Sony Xperia Z3 and it has some Google apps that I have come to really enjoy. One is a note app called Keep. It allows me to change colors of each entry, add labels, voice recording, adding pictures and what not, plus you can set reminders to each note if needed. It has truly benefited me in keeping track of notes for my writing, blog, novel writing, and dream writing as well. So below I'm going to share some random notes that have built up over the past few months.
I always thought Silicon Valley referred to some area in California where all the people were getting plastic surgery, especially breast implants. Silicon. Implants. Yeah, I know now that's not the case, but now that I know what it really is, I only giggle every time I hear it.
My electric bill tells me to get out of the house more often.
I love how women, not all of course, love and are attracted to Louis C.K. I'm also included in that small group. There's something about his self depreciation that brings out a certain kind of confidence because he owns it.
Watching kids play, especially at my apartment complex makes me feel old. It's a weird kind of peace watching them. But at the other hand it's fascinating to me because I never grew up in an apartment. I grew up in a house within a somewhat tight knit community. There was an ease to hanging out in the yard, the street, alone or with others. I'm happy to see that kids play at apartments. I know it is common, but it merely strikes me as so different because there isn't really yards and carports, but occasionally courtyards and parking lots. I feel like it is a little more dangerous too, for a few reasons. Instead of wide streets for them to ride around in, they ride in a sometimes busy parking lot which I've almost hit kids a couple of times. On another note, I feel weird being around them, passing by. I work at a school, so I'm around kids all the time and have authority, but at home I have to repress anything I might want to say to them. I also feel that if I ever did speak to them, parents would look at me with suspicion, only because they don't know my relationship with kids. They just see a young tattooed girl. There is one particular boy, the whitest and blondest kid around. He's almost always outside, sometimes alone and sometimes with others. Every single time I come around, he stops what he's doing and stares at me. I don't know why. Only about twice he has said hi to me and I feel like he is my only friend here.
In death, I grieve for the living.
Whenever in the situation with people and talking about phobias or greatest fears, I never have a real answer. My impulse and go-to answer is always that I fear being raped, mugged, or robbed. However, a lot of phobias that people will have are related to bugs or certain creatures. I finally remembered if there were any creature that I'm really scared of it would be sharks. The deep blue ocean has more living organisms than those on land. It's fascinating as hell but just as scary. I have a few fond memories relating to this fear. One was when my brother and I were young we had a big book of sea animals. It was a tall book, not with real pictures but of talented realistic drawings. Although we shared this book, my brother was legitimately scared of it. I mean, this book is as tall as your torso and some pages were covered from side to side in drawings of sharks, whales, fish, and creepy deep dwelling fish with lights hanging from their heads. I always thought the latter was damn scary. Any time he opened to certain pages he would flip out, either shutting the book or his eyes. While I understood how he felt, I always thought it was kind of funny. More so that some nights I would fall asleep with this book open, standing next to my head. Another memory is an old friend of mine had an above ground pool that was situated under a palm tree. I don't know if it was common for these pools to be kind of muggy, but you could never really see through to the bottom. This always creeped me out a little, but one particular day I was swimming there and I felt something on my foot. I was scared out of my mind, but it was likely a branch from the overhanging tree. I also spent a handful of childhood vacations at the ocean, whether it was in Mexico or New York. I was a great swimmer but there was always that lingering fear when I swam out far. That unknown, just under your feet. I should conclude that I do find the ocean amazing and love learning about the creatures that inhabit the depths, but the fear remains, but it is not paralyzing.
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