Underestimate Me

This was a post I drafted with pen and paper on August 23rd, 2011:

When I paint, a lot of thoughts come to mind. Profound thoughts that are blog-worthy. Which also means I should paint more. I really should.

As I have mentioned here before, I tend to paint when I'm in a negative mood. I'm upset about something-usually involving someone. I'm obsessing over the details of whatever has upset me. While I may be doing that, or on rare occasions where I'm painting in a good mood, deep thought processes occur. I'm not saying these don't occur to me several times a day, because they do, but there are few activities that provoke this without fail. Painting, I've realized, is one of those activities.

These thought processes sprout out of various places in my mind and jump around, like a cricket in danger. Thus, I cannot always trace where my train of thoughts come about. But I will tell you about my recent discovery...

I'm that person that gets taken advantage of. Always. I'm the one that people don't realize how good they had it  until I'm gone. I've been taken for granted more than I can count.

The thing about this is, it's from all sorts of people. Friends, lovers, and employers. All the damn time.

I don't even want to begin to describe these various incidents and on-goings. But It is a realization that I do put up with a lot, and I am quite a catch. Plain and simple.

And I do deserve more. Better.