Anger, irritation, and stress aside, I'm still doing quite good. Still got that smile and glow going on. Oh and in case you're wondering why I'm still posting despite the time crunch on my life currently, well this blog provides a really good release for me, it's an outstanding outlet. I have so many mental notes during my daily life and they need to get out there somehow. So here they are, as well to lighten the mood.
I have noticed that just about everyone who owns a Mini Cooper has a customized license plate. That that plate usually involves the word "Mini" in some way. To be honest, it's just getting annoying now.
Officially, there is at least one person in each of my classes that makes some sort of effort to peek a look at me, to watch me. I pretty much always notice. Deaf people have excellent peripherals. Keep that in mind.
I have been thinking a great deal about my eyes lately. A lot of it is due to discussions with the special one. [Hmm, soon I'll have to give him a name for when I refer to him on here. I'll think on it]. But I have particularly been thinking about their intensity and the ways in which people may or may not be captivated by them. Amongst the many things I have been thinking about in regards to that, I only want to mention one thing today. My being hard of hearing definitely and unquestionably adds to the intensity of my eyes. Naturally, hearing people don't necessarily need to pay particularly close attention to those who speak to them. I do, however, a great deal. Not always, people I know really well can talk to me from a different room or whatever and I can still hear and understand them. But regardless, I do choose to really watch people talk, at least when I can get over the awkwardness of eye contact with those that I may not particularly know well enough. So when I do watch them, I am watching them very intensely and I realize then that some people have a hard time maintaining that eye contact with me. Possibly too much intensity or even a cause of distraction. My friend [or two] tells me that I'm really good at seeing through people, thus seeing into their eyes. I need that, to further really understand a person. To know who they are. To know how they feel. To see how it is they really feel. Not only are Scorpios known for their probing personalities and intense eyes, but I further intensify all of that by being hard of hearing. And you know what? I fucking lovvvvveeee it!!!I have been paying a great deal of attention to how I use my eyes [I always have, but more so when looking at people especially strangers or people in crowds] and I have picked up on a few things. First of all, sometimes when I just take a glance at people as I am passing by or whatever, they tend to not be able to look away. Granted, I look interesting, but when they look at my eyes they can't seem to stop. Like there is obviously more behind them and maybe I look like I might say something. I get a day a week or sometimes more or less where a handful of people do that to me and usually smile. Those days always make me wonder "Do I have food on my face, what's going on?" I wonder this because whenever it does happen it only happens on whatever that day is and it happens multiple times. It's not like it's once a day every day, it is at least 3 times on a given day. And that has been quite a recent development. On top of that, I notice that my stare is particularly intense while in the classroom. Sometimes I catch one of my professors looking at me in longer durations while talking. I know that I look really into it and it's funny because I'm usually the one to break the eye contact. I could go on and on, but I'll stop here for now.
Later edit: I just posted this maybe a half hour ago and within that time, the whole staring at me thing happened twice. See what I mean?!
A random thought occurred to me: Shouldn't pro-lifers be vegetarians too?
I have forgotten to mention that I do, in fact, have other nicknames. These of which only occur in my home. I didn't really realize that they were still being used since I am so used to them. When my brother and I were younger we each had nicknames generally given to us by our dad. My brother's name is Bryce, named after Bryce Canyon [and because it's a cool name]. My name is Alyssa, being the first name my parents finally agreed on a month prior to my birth. Inspired by the actress Alyssa Milano because they often watched the television show, Who's the Boss? Shortly after they agreed on my middle name, Jenel, which would have been my first name but they decided to name me in the order in which they came up with the names. I love both names and am very satisfied with them. Anyways, Bryce had several names such as Brycer, Bryceroni, Monkey, Monkey boy and others which have slipped my mind. These days I will occasionally call him Brycer or I just like to yell at him across the house in a redneck voice and say "Boy!" as well as "Whopper head" from a stupid yet impacting Burger King commercial that I cannot find a video for. But mine included Mouse, Alyssa Cabyssa, and maybe a couple others that I can't remember. My dad called me both of these. Mouse, well I can make a mouse face and that name has been long gone. Alyssa Cabyssa still lingers. My brother has been calling me that lately and it really struck out to me the other day, hence this recent realization. I do like it. It's an interesting name and I have not heard it anywhere else. A new friend of mine has a sister named Alyssa so maybe I'll ask her if they had any nicknames for her.Ok I'll stop now.
No comments:
Post a Comment