"Love is an Ancient Delirium, a Desire Older Than Civilization."

What does that even mean!?!?! [The guy's shirt.]

I woke up not too long ago. Couldn't sleep last night. There's always something to keep my mind going. So I decided that some PM medicine would help. It did and I had some interesting dreams with it. However during the several hours I was awake and tossing and turning a lot of blogging ideas came to me. I won't discuss all of them today. I also finally started reading A Natural History of Love by the amazzzzzing Diane Ackerman. This woman is probably my favorite author...she's definitely tops. Hence the name of this blog is dedicated to the first book I ever read of hers, An Alchemy of Mind. Which is another thing I will write about at a different time, why I got a blog in the first place.

When I get involved with someone I always forget how awesome I am. [Don't tell me how many times you may have read this already].
I constantly bring myself down because I want to be perfect. And I know more than most people that perfection does not exist. I'm a walking contradiction [another thing my astrology bible has to remind me]. I was explaining to a friend the other day that Scorpios are their own worst enemy. The best self-critic of them all. What a wonderful honor.

I'm not going to blog much since I still need to get crackin' on my school reading as well as watching the movie I rented. I decided I would feel safer picking up from Redbox today instead of at 1am in a semi-sketchy place.

I hate that I don't get to enjoy eyes as much because I'm too busy reading lips. I have noticed that eyes scare me though. When I was younger I never had a problem staring into peoples' eyes. But as I got into high school, it became more awkward for me and now I don't hold eye contact as intensely as I used to. Some of this is fine with me, depending on the person, but sometimes it really annoys me. I get nervous and shy easily so I look away far more than I would like. And when I do look at eyes, I really look at them. Sometimes what you see there is very intense. Friends, I can stare at their eyes quite easily, because of the closeness as well as I know them well enough to not have to always read their lips.

I see the good in people. I see the good in people! How do you stop that? Really. To stop seeing the good in people...that has to be one of the foremost impossible tasks for me.

Back to some dream interpretations from this weekend and this morning:
To dream that you are a lesbian (but you are not in your waking life), signifies a union with aspects of yourself. It is symbolic of self-love, self-acceptance, and passion. You are comfortable with your sexuality and femininity. If, in your dream you abhor the notion of lesbianism, then it represents your fears and rejection of parts of your own sexuality.
To dream that you are laughing, suggests that you need to lighten up and let go of your problems. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Laughing is also a sign of joyous release and pleasure. If you are being laughed at, then it indicates your insecurities and fears of not being accepted.
To dream that you are drunk, suggests that you are acting careless and insensible. You are losing control of your life and losing a grip on reality. Perhaps you are trying to escape from a waking situation.
To smell something in your dream, indicates your past experiences and feelings with that particular smell. Your dream is trying to convey a feeling by associating it with a familiar smell or scent. Alternatively, the scent may be part of your real environment which you have incorporated into your dream.
To dream of Halloween, signifies death and the underworld. Halloween also represents the temporary adoption of a new persona where you feel less inhibited and more comfortable to freely express yourself.

To see your bed in your dream, represents your intimate self and discovery of your sexuality. If you are sleeping in your own bed, then it denotes security and restoration of your mind. You may be looking for domestic bliss, for peace or for some form of escape. If you are waking up in a different and/or unknown bed, then it represents the consequences of the decisions you have made. The dream may also be a pun on the completion of a project and putting it to bed. Consider the condition of the bed. If the bed is made, then it symbolizes security. If the bed is unmade, then it indicates that certain secrets will soon be exposed or revealed.
To dream of a kiss, denotes love, affection, tranquility, harmony, and contentment. To see others kissing in your dream, suggests that you are too involved in their personal lives and relationship.You need to give them some space. If the dream ends just about you are about to kiss someone, indicates that you are unsure of how he or she really feels about you. You are looking for some sort of relationship with this person but you are not sure about how to go about achieving it. If you are heterosexual and you dream that you are kissing someone of the same sex, then it represents self-acceptance. You are acknowledging the feminine or masculine side.
To hear or write songs in your dream, indicates that you are looking at things from a spiritual viewpoint. Your future path is a happy one with good health and much wealth. Consider the words to the song that you are dreaming about for additional messages.
To see a dog in your dream, symbolizes intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. The dream suggests that your strong values and good intentions will enable you to go forward in the world and bring you success. Alternatively, it indicates a skill that you have ignored or forgotten. If the dog is vicious and/or growling, then it signifies some inner conflict within yourself. It may indicate betrayal and distrust-worthiness. If the dog is dead or dying, then it indicates a loss of a good friend. Alternatively, it represents a deterioration of your instincts. Also consider common notions associated with the word dog, such as loyalty ("man's best friend") and to be "treated like a dog".