Good Girls

So after much discussion I ask my friend, "why do I end up with the assholes?!" I hate to be that girl to ask that question and unfortunately it's not the first time either. I got a good answer the first time but not necessarily simplified enough for me to really understand what it is at the core of my being. But this time I got an answer that made more sense to me. I'm gonna paraphrase this the best I can and of what I can remember, for I had a good train of thought going on my drive home.

I "see the good in people" Shit, I'm more positive and less critical than I had ever previously thought. I'm also "more sensitive than I think" this is true, I'm not the hardass bitch I was in high school. No wonder I didn't have much for relationships then, I fucking scared everybody off! Guess it was better that way. I "always want to fix people" I don't necessarily explicitly think of myself that way, but I guess I would say that I have hopes to be something special to others, and to make a positive affect on their lives, at the least. Trying to change others is the last thing I try to do these days. I've actually mostly given up on even questioning them. And this is what I get myself into. Plus, I'm "really awesome, and everyone wants" to talk to me, be around me, cuddle/cradle me. Ok, she didn't necessarily say that last one about the cuddle/cradle, but she held her hands up like I was a little puppy sitting at the palms of her hands, and that's just what people want to do with me. Damn, I lost that specific train of thought, but most of it refers to the whole I "see the good in people." That, unfortunately is my biggest fault. I can think of a million instances where I had defended guys when thinking to myself and when talking to others. It kind of makes me sick. I also "love when people think I'm awesome" yeah, it melts me. So I guess all of this makes me the easy prey. Fuck. I'm easy.

Now I have a whole new understanding of the whole good girls/guys finish last.
Fuck this shit.