Help Me Get Away From Myself

I love the way you look at me
I feel the pain you place inside
you lock me up inside your dirty cage
well I'm alone inside my mind

I'd like to teach you all the rules
I'd get to see them set in stone
I like it when you chain me to the bed
but then your secrets never shone

Does anyone remember that song? Heh.
Control. It's an interesting subject. For me. In addition to my growing Scorpioness, I'm finding myself more and more eager to escape control. I find myself doing things I may not find morally right in my own feelings towards others, yet I'm doing what I feel like doing. I'm doing what I want, regardless of my morals. Something I've never done before. Like I'm bending my own rules. In my moral mind I feel like a bad person and I don't quite like what I'm doing, but on the other hand I have contradicting feelings of just wanting to do whatever I wish. To just do things for my own sake and for no one else. I do everything for everyone. I rarely think of only myself.
I am being selfish...
I hate selfishness, but I guess everyone deserves their moments to themselves.
Hurting others only hurts myself in the process, but I'm not sure when it will end. I'm not exactly sure what is going on in my mind since this is all new. But I do know one thing for sure. I really despise being controlled by others. As I have discussed before, we, I, are all tools of this world, but I'll be damned if I can have some power over others, I won't let them reign over me. But I think I am not going about it rightfully, [in my moral opinion], I think I'm striking out once I lose some power, only to attempt gain more. My mind is jumbled. I'm still trying to figure this out. I'm on both sides with myself, I'm happy and not happy with this.

I'm just not ready to let someone control me. In fact, I think it's only the beginning of the opposite.

I can't control you
You can't control me
I need to feel you
So why's there even you and me?