Let's Get Physical

I've noticed this pattern that everytime I actually want to get someone's attention they aren't present. Usually it's someone I see on some regular basis and the one day I decide to wear this or that, with that person in mind, I don't see them. It's annoying and it's happened to me as far back as I can remember. It's like the first excitement/obsession that leaks out, and I get somewhat disappointed, but really, just disappointed at myself I guess. It's no one else's fault. I'm just a dork and this post is sounding more gloomy than I am meaning for it to sound. I'm totally grinning at myself and my retardation, so if you're frowning, turn it upside down!

I've had a headache all day.

Have you noticed in popular films that of death a popular theme tends to be that of the death of a man's wife. When in fact, women tend to outlive their husbands far more frequently than husbands outliving their wives. Thanks to my death and dying class for that knowledge. That's why you hear and are more familiar with the term 'widow' for widower isn't as common. I'm not saying it never happens, absolutely not. But in film, particularly, they use that a lot, in my opinion because it is different. And it gives a more sensitive deep look on the man's side. I was just thinking all about this this morning but now I'm coming back to write it and yet I cannot remember the specific films I had in mind.

I've decided, with the weather soon to be cooling off, I will try to force myself to start running at night. Your initial thought may be, "but that's not safe." Well I'm not talking super late and just around my block, which is fairly safe and full of neighbors I know and trust. I just need the physical activity and the endorphins. I love that word. The only exercise I get is walking around campus and walking around at work. No sex, no anything else to keep my heart pumpin'. My weight tends to fluctuate quite a bit as well, and now I'm on the higher end of my usual weight spectrum. I eat a lot, to say the least. Modesty is not in my vocabulary and this completely ties into all the other blogs I've written about myself and how gray area doesn't exist in my world. I don't want to lose weight, no, and this is not about dieting. Don't say that word around me, you'll get a negative reaction. This is about physical activity, fitness, something that was a major part of my life up until after 9th grade. Since then, I feel like I'm in denial of my post active lifestyle body. It just doesn't feel natural since that was all I knew. I was in track, swimming, soccer, I even went as far as being the junior varsity football team's watergirl. That's right, I said watergirl. It was for my brother's team, I wanted to join football, but that's what I ended up doing. Which was fine with me since I'm not crazy about football anyways. Soccer has my heart. Ahh, the memories...