Obsession #5

So, back to the list of obsessions, one of the main founding posts of this blog...at least that was one of the original reasons. It's been quite some time since I've made one of these posts [even though just about every post is an obsession anyways] but I can see why. Number 5, sex.

Sex: I've been thinking about this one a lot lately. The most important thing I want to point out is, being a Scorpio, we have our privacy. [And well, Scorpios are also the most sexual of the signs] There are a lot that we keep to ourselves, we’re very secretive and all that fun stuff. I personally try to be an open book, to the people that matter anyways. I find comfort and pleasure in the fact that those around me know me well enough and can predict me. However, that’s what I used to think. Nowadays, I realize I’m not nearly the open book I thought I was, because there are quite a lot of pages even I can’t seem to read. Come to think of it, those people that “predict” me, aren’t really correct anyways. So, my point is, sex is the foremost thing that is definitely that private part of me. I understand that is the case for people in general, but I find it that no one will ever fully enter that part of my mind or fully get the exposure of the things I'd like to do. Hell, I don't even think I'll get to do what I'd like to do. However, my sexual life and thoughts are open to a very few and privileged people, usually those that are intimately involved in my sexual life. Friends will know details here and there but they don’t experience the intimacy itself to really know much at all. I guess that is what I mean; I have enough standards to whom I talk about sex with, let alone literally doing the deed with. Even then I never truly open up, it takes the right kind of person, the right kind of mechanical gear for me to fit right in with and grind together in this machine called closeness. As much as my dirty mind is now becoming a distinguishing feature of mine to those I know, it is still a very private matter to me. Hence, why this post isn’t loaded with dirty details. Sorry to disappoint. Sadly there’s quite a lot I could write, but not for the world wide web to know.
I will mention that I have some odd syndrome of flirting with waiters/waitresses a lot lately. I really don’t know what it is. I am finding that part of me coming out of its shell; my desire is forming a little bit into actions again. For me these acts of flirting is very miniscule in comparison to the average person’s standards of flirting. I’m just finding that craving for affection once again after quite a period of indifference.