Obsession #4

Something makes me think I've delayed this post for a reason...

Dreams: Where to begin? When I was younger my mom and I used to talk about our dreams and I always found hers fascinating because they were so different from mine at the time. She always had dreams about people she knew, when I rarely had a dream that involved someone I knew. Of course as I got older that changed a lot. So then I met my best friend Regena in sixth grade and we had a tradition that in the morning, if one was at the other's house, that we would exchange our dreams. I've done that with just about anyone I'm close to. It's just the first thing I have to do in the morning, and the best time to try to remember them before they vanish. When I meet new potential friends/partners I like to ask them about their dreams as well. It's my secret way to find out what they think about. At least sex dreams always give them away, especially when people tell me they have them about me, which happens more often than I would think. Along with astrology, dreams are my way to understanding a person without having to know them really well. Most likely, I think this way because I know my dreams so well and they don't usually surprise me. I'm good at figuring out why I dreamt whatever it is, a few times I managed to make myself dream about whatever it is I wished. But I'm not going to get into that.
Every little detail about dreams fascinate me equally. I'm learning new things all the time. Such as; music, only about 4 of my dreams had a clear and vivid moment of a song playing. Most of the time the radio would just be on, and I knew the song. But one particularly nice dream it was just like the soundtrack of my life. Songs by Bush were "playing" and there was no radio, I was levitating into the sun and purely happy and these songs were just on in the background. Another detail is the fact that most, if not all, the people I dream about never look like they actually do in real life. Their bodies are different but I know who they are supposed to be. Or maybe they won't have a clear face. Colors, I don't remember them so well. When I try to think back on dreams, to try to remember them, I almost feel like I'm just picturing them in black and white, or at least just highly filtered colors, very pale. But I do know that some dreams are vivid with color, but it's not always the case. Maybe color is a detail I forget easily. Feelings, the sense of touch is so amazing in my dreams. So fucking amazing. And I realize recently that is usually only pleasure, the feeling that I do remember. Rarely pain, if at all. I cannot explain the reality of the feelings, on command I could remember any particular dream and just bring on the feelings. I swear I've nearly orgasmed during a dream or two or a few.
I've gone through a handful of themes throughout my life. For the longest time since I was really young up to high school I always had chasing dreams. I may have had a couple since high school but they're not dominant anymore. My favorite dream interpretation website is http://www.dreammoods.com/. According to the site, chase dreams are described as followed: Chase dreams often stem from feelings of anxiety in your walking life. The way we respond to anxiety and pressure in real life is typically manifested as a chase dream. Running is an instinctive response to physical threats in our environment. Often in these dream scenarios, you are being pursued by some attacker, who wants to hurt or possibly kill you. You are running away, hiding, or trying to outwit your pursuer. Chase dreams may represent your way of coping with fears, stress or various situations in your waking life. Instead of confronting the situation, you are running away and avoiding it.?Ask yourself who is the one chasing you and you may gain some understanding and insight on the source of your fears and pressure.The pursuer or attacker who is chasing you in your dream may also represent a part of yourself. Your own feelings of anger, jealousy, fear, and possibly love, can assume the appearance of threatening figure. You may be projecting these feelings onto the unknown chaser. Next time you have a chase dream, turn around and confront your pursuer. Ask them why they are chasing you.?One may be consumed by their own anger, jealousy, love, or self-destructive behavior. For example, you may be drinking too much or exhibiting open hostility toward others around you. You may subconsciously be threatened by these actions which have been jeopardizing your relationships and/or career. Your dreams are a way of calling attention to these self-destructive actions.A more direct analysis of chase dreams is the fear of being attacked. Such dreams are more common among women than men, who may feel physically vulnerable in the urban environment. These dreams are inspired by fears of violence and sexual assault in which we are so over-exposed from the media. The violence that the media portrays magnifies our fears and how at risk we all are.?
The interesting thing about every chase dream I had, I never got caught. Usually I would have some sort of supernatural gift usually involving the ability to jump great heights. Well now my dreams involve a little more violence than usual and they are more hectic and all over the place. That started when I started college, I was super stressed then. Well I could write about this for ages. This will do for today ;)