Morphing

With every job there becomes an awareness of personality changes or accentuation and reduction of  various personality traits. I want to talk about what I have noticed about myself so far.

To begin, I want to transfer what traits I learned in my last job that I do in my current job that are a little unusual in the field, but appreciated by my supervisors. I am always willing to help others, to go above and beyond with whatever help I am able to give. I am always asking questions and am not afraid to ask for help. I also like to lead those that are newer than I am, taking on a leadership role. All of these traits are something I've always had, but were essentially brought out of me to the highest level at my last job. However, a trait that I noticed today that I had in my last job has reduced in some way to the current job. When donors have adverse reactions to donating such as passing out, puking, feeling ill, nervousness, etc. I find myself more distant instead of caring or sympathetic. It's not to say those traits are absent but they are not in the forefront. I had to train myself in my last job not to give into attention seeking behavior, which can be aggression, hitting, puking, urinating on oneself, all these things I had to ignore. There were specific procedures of what I could do and not do for those things. Overall, I was not to react, I had to erase that instinct. When donors have these incidents, I tend to avoid it if I can. I want to help, and I can help them, but there are currently new procedures of what to do and I am not as familiar with them yet because I have not had a lot of experience in the field with them. Most of these reactions are usually at the fault of the donor whether due to anxiety or lack of preparedness, which is frustrating.

This current job has made me even more social and friendly, not only at work but out of work. I can talk to strangers with more ease, I can handle small talk better, I can use my curiosity in an appropriate way. I also constantly think about blood, and always look at people's veins without even realizing it. I think about health more, I understand blood pressure and pulse better. I drink more water, and I think about iron content in foods. I dream about phlebotomy often. My memory is difficult. I meet dozens and dozens of new people everyday and process all their numbers, donor ID numbers, vitals, phone numbers, addresses, birthdays, names, etc. that I can no longer retain these things past several seconds. My days blend and I forget what day it is and where I've been for work. People's faces and names start to morph into a single familiarity. I also have a fear there is always someone I know around me. For example, I travel all over this state for work and every time I go out in public I wonder if I've seen someone I've worked with either a coworker or a donor. Before when I worked at a school I always worked in a different city that I lived in so I enjoyed the freedom of knowing I was very unlikely to run into someone I knew. But now, the possibility is inevitable, which isn't necessarily a bad thing depending where I am. It basically makes me feel like I have to act more professional in my private life when out. Not that I've been out much, but when I do. Trust is also a thing that is hard to come by, but it is slowly growing. There are 3 people now that I work with that I trust, one of them being my cousin that I work with. I am also nicer. I've always been a fairly nice person but this job brings it out because I meet so many people, and this works for me tremendously because in turn, I am treated the same. There are often donors or coworkers that aren't exactly nice to others but are always nice to me because I am so nice. A trait I've found to be extremely valuable in this line of work. In addition to trust, I have to be very careful what I say. I work with a lot of young and immature people that like to talk about each other, so I have to be my true self but also hold my tongue and not be too revealing of myself so far.