The Option to Choose

Sex is incredible. Absolutely incredible. How is it that something nearly every living being participates in such a taboo. Such a lovely feeling. I honestly could never, in a sane mind, ever relate to or understand someone who didn’t enjoy sex or someone that doesn’t really care for it to such the extreme as I do. I just don’t get it. I mean, just the mere fact that it is a taboo should prove to show how fucking amazing it is. I am utterly fascinated by the very biological mechanisms that allow us to have this overwhelmingly marvelous sensory experience that sex is. The endorphins. Pleasure, the word alone excites me.

Sexual repression in this world is also equally fascinating.

The amazing thing that occurred to me for a second and more explicit time is that I’m not having sex. I choose not to have sex during any and every period of my nonsex filled days. I could have sex with nearly anyone. There’s a very very large number of people that would gladly have sex with me. But I don’t.

The option to choose is quite astounding. Especially when you actually do have an overwhelming amount of options to literally do. It’s interesting that as humans and even primates and other living creatures, to choose our mates. However, I want to focus more on just choosing the people in which we have and don’t have sex with. I’m sure everyone has at least one person they wish they didn’t fuck. With the exception of virgins and people that are in a long term committed relationship with the only one person they have slept with. Why do we choose to have sex with him? Why do we choose to go home with her? Why do we choose to sleep on the first date? Why do choose to wait several dates til even reaching foreplay? Why do we choose to respect or disrespect our body and self? Why do we put such labels on it to begin with? Why do we view sex as a need? Why do we view sex as a privilege? Why, why, why?

Sex is almost just as complex as emotions. I know it varies per individual, but I honestly think in the end it’s always more complicated than people ever wish to admit.

If I must say, that does apply to me. Everyone has their morality, their do’s and their don’t's, their principles, their dignity. Mine are as listed:
I don’t do one night stands.
I often kiss people sometimes without further intention or interests.
It is impossible for me to separate sex from emotions and attachment.
Casual or serious, I always have sex with one person at one time, I’m exclusive.
When I’m serious about someone, I make the pace of sexual intimacy quite slow.
I never have sex with someone right away.
I have never cheated on someone.
I do view sex as a kind of giving away of yourself.
Sex is better when strong emotional connections are there.
I have never viewed sex as something to withhold from someone when angry. Psh! That’s screwing myself over.
My personal sex experiences, preferences, and interests are actually private and a type of information released only to the privileged.
Sex is nearly an addiction and an escape for me.
I do not believe in faking orgasms.
Most of my sexual fantasies are of nonexistent made-up people.
I would be pretty damn content to have sex multiple times a day everyday. Ideally.

Such things as these obviously will change and have changed over time, but that’s what stands currently.

Right now, I’m typing this in Word at 4 in the morning like fucking Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City.

Now it's the next day as I'm inputting this into Blogger. Last night my Internet went out so I decided to read some of Bad Behavior by Mary Gaitskill. The book has several short stories about interactions between individuals, particularly sexual interactions. So it got me thinking about sex, along with reading some of my older posts. I realize this post jumps around, but I had a lot to get out. I could elaborate on it more some other time, but this will do for now.