"Real or Not Real?"

I know I have been blogging about the issues and circumstances of my life lately. I'm done with that for now, or today. So let's get on to the entertainment of my life as of late.

The Hunger Games.

I just finished the trilogy today. No, not all in just today, obviously, I've been working too.

First of all, like everyone else as far as I'm aware, I love it.

My boyfriend read and finished the first book in one night. We conversed about it, but in ways to where he wouldn't give any of the details away upon my request. He's been very good about being vague and discreet about it and I'm grateful for it. Not too long after he finished the book we saw the movie together, while I still have yet to read the novel. I wanted to see the movie and enjoy it for what it was, get used to the actors for each character, etc. I enjoyed the film a lot despite the common sense that there's always more to the book. Maybe a week or so after I saw the film, I started on the book.

I've heard tons of people's experiences that the book is a fast read and you can never put it down. However, that was a bit of the opposite for me, with the first book. Since I saw the movie and had an idea of the plot, the book didn't put me on edge as much, plus I only had limited free time to read it. As it neared the end, that's when I was having difficulties putting it down. I am not, by any means, saying the book isn't as good a most people say it is. My experience was nearly a direct result of the fact that I already saw the film and knew what was going to happen. The emotions of course are depicted more intimately and are very easy to get lost in.

Once I finished that, I bought the second book, Catching Fire, the next day. I was eager to finish it. My boyfriend was already a few paces ahead of me and told me it was really really good. I don't have as much to say about the first one since it has been a bit more time since I've finished it. Plus the last two books are more of my focus in this post. I read them rather quickly, having more time to do so. I also bought the third book, Mockingjay, and finished it in less than a week.

To sum it all up, it's a really fucked up story that made me want to cry constantly. That's the way I want to put it, anyway. It was all well written, but no as in depth as it could be if it weren't meant for young adults. This I find to be a key thing to keep in mind while reading. A substitute I was working with for the last couple of months mentioned that to me when I was just getting into the first book. I'm glad for that because it allowed me to think about it, to ponder further on thoughts left a little shallow. I'm not denouncing the book for that, since it was meant for a particular audience. However, I do like the idea that it allows you to use your own mind and imagine yourself as each of the various characters. There's a lot of reflections to be had, under so many circumstances. I truly appreciate that. That said, it is just a little frustrating when the main character and narrator, Katniss, can't quite figure her feelings out. But in the end, all those undeveloped thoughts and emotions lead to a proper ending.

Why did I find myself crying so much? Heh, you all know I'm emotional. But really, the situations, the emotions, the characters are so overwhelming. The Hunger Games themselves are merely fucked up to begin with. As I was reading the second book, as I often read it in public places, I kept tearing up. I was feeling for everything and everyone. It just sucked. Because I was in public, I didn't really want to cry, I tried hard to stop myself. This causes an increase, or overload, of tears into my own little emotional inventory. I'm not sure if I speak for most or some, but for me if I haven't cried in awhile, a time comes and I cry a lot. This was the case, but also the build up of all the tears I couldn't let fall. Finally I had some occasions to read at home and let some of it loose, but I know I still haven't ridden myself of all the tears these books required of me. I'm trying not to spoil the story for some of you, so I apologize for the vagueness, but I think you'll appreciate it later.

Let me explain that. As I said, I knew how the first story would go before I read it. The other two, I didn't know at all. I even prevented myself from assuming or predicting where the story would go as much as I possibly could. I really wanted to go into the series knowing nothing. This added to my experience tremendously.

My boyfriend finished the last book before I finished the second book. He told me that he was glad with the way they ended it. The only question I allowed myself to ask about it was, "Do you feel completed?" Some books and films end without giving you that completed feeling. I appreciate that at times where it deems appropriate, but for the most part I ask for a completed ending, regardless if it is a sad ending or not.

Now that I have come to the end, I agree with my boyfriend's sentiment. I'm happy with how it ended, actually I'm very happy. I have been reading it on and off all day, nearing to the end. Debating if I wanted to save the end for when I'm alone in my bed with my own tears. I didn't do that, but I will probably reread some of the end at home later, just to experience it more fully. But before I got to the end, I finally decided something for myself, how I wanted it to conclude and I realized that I would be a bit upset if it went another way. I did get what I wanted, although I was actually surprised, yet slightly not, that I got what I wanted. It does make the most sense that way, anyways.

Without giving much away, which is very hard, I will explain the emotions that permeated my mind. Paranoia, loss, despair, longing, sadness, rage, enlightenment, and just a bit of happiness too. The paranoia was very strong and rooted in the fact that the main character, as well as a few others, could not trust anyone or anything. It was so strong, so sad too. Anything goes. It made me angry, made it hard to endure the reading, yet made me keep going. This could be true for all of the intense feelings but I feel paranoia is a good main category in which all of the other feelings made a subcategory under. It was a rough life for the characters, so much pain, so much. As the characters lose their minds, you lose it too, you want so much to help them, to bring them back. To make their lives better. This goddamn fucked up situation. I will say, despite the whole unpleasantness to begin with in the hunger games, that I wasn't expecting the story to be so sad. But as I always say, I like depressing things. Films, songs, stories, the likes.

Also due to the paranoia and lack of trust another interesting thing happened to me while I was reading, particularly in public places. If I got interrupted by a friend or family I would instantly be incredibly alert and worried. I felt like something bad happened, but it was nothing. I only felt that way because I was so lost in a world of torture, death, and pain.

Loss was a theme that was difficult but didn't trigger me as much as I would think. But the greatest or most impacting loss, in my opinion, that occurred before the story started was the loss of the Katniss' father. This is comes in flashbacks constantly and they tug my heart due to my relationship with my father. I may not be incredibly close to him, but he means the utmost world to me.

This leads me to one other point that I can make without giving away too much. But also a point a lot of people may not be happy with. The series reminds me of the Twilight series. There are some crossovers in themes that I can't help but to make connections to. The first book of the two series lays out a complex background with a major underlying obstacle. The second book each focus on loss, the remembrance of the loss, and the pain that accompanies it. The final ends similarly, but that's all I say of the end. Both are narrated by a female character, granted these characters are very different, but both deal with the dilemma of  having to choose between two loves. And here we have Team Jacob, Team Edward, Team Peeta, and Team Gale. Heh. Not to mention that both girls are young and have a focus on their paternal relationships.

Now that I'm done reading, I have too many books to choose from and I'm not sure where to go next. I wish I wrote in my books, underlined points that I can share here, but I didn't. I guess it's better because I'm still trying to be vague but share my experience. I'll finish here before I feel compelled to give more away.