Under Pressure

So why haven't blogged any major in depth philosophical posts in a while?

Well, I've been quite busy and quite bored at the same time. But most of all I've been really stressed. Money issues are overwhelming my mind that I can't quite keep my head in the blogging game. Yes, I still get those poetic thoughts throughout the day but I forget them more often now that I don't have an immediate or convenient way to write them down. Most of what I look at when I'm online anymore other than the general [blogger, emails, etc.] is funny sites to unwind after a work day, reading news articles, and to listen to music. I've been really addicted to songs lately. For instance, I made a post yesterday about the song "Somebody That I Used to Know" and I've listened to that song at least 100 times and counting [for I am listening to it now]. And I've watched the video [live and original] several times as well.

So why am I stressed? My moving situation. My paychecks. My car.

I have neglected to mention that my moving plans have changed to that my friends and I are getting a house together. These friends are the same friends whose place I originally wanted to move into. The situation was going to be that we would get a 3 bedroom house for 4 of us, 2 people are a couple. We would find a house in a general decided diameter that worked for all four of us. It would be between 1,000-1,200 dollars a month. This would make my rent payments much cheaper than had I gotten the place I originally wanted. But now this has all changed. Yesterday I found out that plan no longer exists, and I still don't know why. Which leaves me back to my original plan, where I am on a waiting list for the townhouse I wanted. But I've been stressed because that rent is far too much which leads to my next point.

My paychecks are quite lower than I had expected. Yes I am working about 32 hours a week and they are compensating me for all my time correctly. But I qualify for benefits and I asked for them to take higher taxes out. This leaves my paychecks 200 dollars less than I originally expected. Which then leaves me kind of living paycheck-to-paycheck and not allowing me any real opportunity to save money. Guess that's what happens when you ask for retirement, health insurance, dental insurance, work comp, and so on. This has prompted me to be looking for a second jobs to spend my evenings. For I do get out of work quite early in the afternoon and do have plenty of time to work another job at nights. Which this process is further stressing me.

Next is my car, there's a lot going on there which I do not care to go into details with. But I will say that there has been a legitimate issue with the emissions system of my car which is forcing me to repair my car to pass emissions. All of which I CANNOT afford. Finally I got some help. My grandparents are going to cover up to a certain amount to get my car fixed this week or next week. Then I can finally go to emissions and all that.

Not to mention I still owe a lot of people money.

Now that you know the main background, I will say that I've pretty much had a panic attack for several hours one night that kept me from getting any sleep and forcing me to call out of work. I feel somewhat relieved that my grandparents are going to help me out, and that I won't be having to move into a house with my friends at the end of March. But it doesn't mean I'm still not stressed. I still want to get the fuck out of my house. Fortunately, with me working there's less stress and tension in my home, but it's still there.

That's all I'm gonna say about this.

I hope to get my car fixed and enjoy my spring break next week.