I went to sleep this morning with a bad case of agita and later having a horrible nightmare. A nightmare that cause me to wake up in a way that I haven't done in a long time.
I'm only going to describe everything related to the two major negative events of this dream.
The first event involves a man. He was much older, larger and stronger than I, unattractive, and had a particular arm tattoo. In my dream I had seen him before, I knew who he was, but he was not aware of me. From that experience, I had a dream about him in which he apparently raped me. I didn't remember that dream in detail, in this current dream, but I had a horrible gut feeling about this man because of it. It was night time and I was walking alone in some town. Side streets and sidewalks above and near a freeway that most people don't walk on, at least not at night. There was a group of other guys that I had passed by before encountering the man, these guys were spread out and partially following me. They were yelling all sorts of things about me being a slut and other horrible things. I ignored them and kept walking. As I passed the man, him hearing what one of the guys screamed caught his attention, and we locked eyes. He was staring at me with desire. I tried to make a new path but it was already too late because he decided to follow me. Meanwhile I'm dreaming all this, my heart is pounding and I'm quite scared. This guy could easily overtake me, and I have no one around to help. He follows me into a building that has a single hallway that allows you to cross over the freeway. There is a door at each end and some lighting. I enter before him and walk in front of him, attempting to ignore him. He may or may not have tried to speak to me, I can't remember for sure. As we finally neared the exiting door, he was really close to me. As I tried to reach for the door, he cradled over me and grabbed the door before I could. At that very instant, I tensed up and didn't even take a breath of air. That instant felt very long, for I wasn't sure if he would open the door or force it close with us inside. At last the door opened and he sensed my discomfort and distrust. He appeared offended and said something about it of which the exact words have slipped my memory. Quickly he ended up being in the distance, no longer very close to me, in a grassy area. His appearance has changed [which isn't unusual in my dreams] for he became younger, closer to my age. His ethnicity seemed to change a bit as well, making him more Hispanic looking rather than Caucasian. He looked like a combination of a few people I've seen in real life. I apparently told him I thought he was going to rape me, which bothered him greatly. I was telling him I've seen him before but he wouldn't let me tell him about the dream. I must have walked off, because this scene ended.
At some point I was followed by a girl that liked me, which I realized as an outsider and as the dreamer that I wasn't really into her. She physically looked very much like an actress from Grey's Anatomy, Sara Ramirez, but possibly younger and thinner. I know this came into my dream because I was watching part of the show yesterday, and her character is in fact bisexual. So it's still night time and I'm walking around and I enter into someone's backyard. Whoever owned the place, I knew and they were having some sort of event/party thing. Except everyone was inside or not there yet. The backyard was filled with obstacles, slides, and all sorts of things you usually see in a children's playpen at McDonald's or something, but with more items that I can't quite name or describe. There was something bothering me, I was upset. This may have been at least partially influenced by the events of the previous paragraph. But I do remember thinking in the dream about something my friend NI said to me, that bad dreams seem to be a result of an emphasis of your already bad mood. Shortly after I had that thought, I hastily walked on the structure towards and edge where a banner was hanging. I broke through the banner or something, but the banner caused a large and evidently deep gash across the lowest part of the front of my neck. There was a little blood at first, I even saw my reflection in the sliding glass window. The woman, who I believe was to be the host of the party, and the girl that followed me both started freaking out about this gash. I thought I was fine, but I had yet to notice the rapidly increasing amount of blood flowing out of my neck. I had my hands at my neck, trying to stop the blood flow, which didn't do a damn thing. The blood covered me so quickly, I felt it fill my bra and go down my stomach. I could feel my heart racing, my lungs pumping which all seem to allow more and more blood to flow. The blood didn't even feel warm, but cool, and it was very red and more fluid. I knew I was going to die.
I woke up so abruptly, with a pain in my neck and chest, the agita, still there. Which is still there as I write this. My heart was racing and I had remind myself that I was alright. Never before had I dreamt of so much blood. I don't have an adverse reaction to blood, however I've never dreamt that I was so simply dying of some stupid accident. This was quite different.
To dream that you are bleeding or losing blood, signifies that you are suffering from exhaustion or that you are feeling emotionally drained. It may also denote bitter confrontations between you and your friends. Your past actions has come back to haunt you.
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