My Body is a Cage

For starters, this article is really fascinating. It discusses the dangers to your health when you spend most of your day sitting on your ass, with standing being a simple solution. I'm actually quite glad I came across it.

So it has been really quiet here because I either didn't have the time nor the energy to write. Here is a summary which I will later go into more detail for various parts. I helped my friend's move into their new place, which involved a lot of boxes and a lot of stairs. I'm thrilled to have them as close neighbors now. On top of all the physical labor of moving, I worked this weekend in which were some of the busiest nights I've experienced yet. So my body is ball of mush and tension all in one. Yesterday was my first day off and I finally got to sleep in and make up for at least a little bit of all the sleep I lost over the weekend. I didn't want to move at all, everything was sore, but yet I still did a few things during the day. I decided yesterday that I really need to get a professional massage. I wanted to do it last night but I was still making up my mind and time ran out. I forced myself to book an appointment tonight, which I'm very excited for.

Now, the long story.

My good friends, a married couple, moved from their apartment in Tempe to their new townhouse in Phoenix. The fact that they had to get this done in 4 days made me more stressed and eager to help them as much as I could. This was actually the first time in which I've helped them move so I didn't really know how they go about it. I'm used to helping people move that don't really have a time limit at all. After moving boxes, going up and down stairs, driving back and forth, I went to work. This happened for 3 days and generally involved me waking up early even after going to bed really late. The second day involved a very busy night at work that further stressed me out. On top of that, my stress multiplied as I knew the next day would involve the major moving of all large furniture and later going to work for an incredibly busy night due to an event involving 2 DJs.

I was so nervous out of my mind for the event taking place at work that all while helping my friends move they kept asking me if I was okay and that I didn't need to be there. I appreciated their concern, but not helping them was not an option. This stress fostered the fact that I only slept under 3 hours. Amazingly my body and mind were completely fine, despite soreness from previous moving activity. I kept on going and going. Went home and laid in bed for a half hour in attempt to take a power nap which really only lasted about 5 minutes. It did help though. Then I went to work, smoked a bunch of hookah, and started helping the DJ set up. I did, in fact, overstress the situation. Something I'm quite good at. There ended up being less people attending the event than I had thought and there was assigned duties for each of us that was working that made me incredibly relieved. My post was behind the counter with the register. I dealt with all money aspects of the night, which was a smart move on part of my boss. Because it was pretty busy and to make sure that all things are paid for we had to give the bill to people right away. So I had to go around and collect money from people. This procedure has a pro and a con. The pro is that everything is in fact paid for and doesn't allow for any room of monkey business of people walking out without paying which can easily happen in such a chaotic atmosphere. However the con is that since people are paying right when they get there they don't tip. There were verrrrry few tips the entire night. But tips is a whole other topic I would like to rant about in another post. Most of the customers are kids, annoying and sometimes under the influence of something else. Oh and not to forget that the 2 DJs were also teenagers, so all these customers were their friends. The interesting thing of the night was the mother of one of the DJs fell somehow somewhere and busted her forehead on something and caused a lot of bleeding. I didn't see it happen but I saw her family and friends crowding around her and her hand on her head. There was a trail of blood towards the bathroom as well. I later found out that she was ok and it wasn't a deep enough wound to get stitched up. To sum up, I ended up staying at work til 2 in the morning until we decided to let me go home and I would just pick up my earnings the next day.

Now, let's talk about my body. The past week or two [or perhaps even longer] I have been having this annoying thing with my neck and shoulder/back. Anytime I turn my head to the right it hurts just a little but it's more that my upper back needs to be popped in a particular spot. I can't get it to pop no matter what weird position I put myself in. I believe this occurred because of the odd position I'm in while at work. When I'm waiting for customers to come in or need my services I sit behind the counter and read or watch some of the television. So I'm slumped in an unhealthy position and if I look at the T.V. my head is turned painfully up and to the left. On top of that, my pillows have lost their fluffiness and are adding more pain and knots to my neck. Anyways, yesterday after my rest and feeling like I'm living in an old woman's body I spontaneously decided that I really want and need a massage. I've never had a professional massage before and have always wanted one so badly. So I started to research Massage Envy's website and find out more than what I already knew from friends. I was toying with the idea all day yesterday and discussing it with a friend. I then realized I should wash my hookah-smoke-smelling-hair and cut off my necklaces to allow ease for the masseuse. I did it also to force myself to book an appointment in case I would just be too lazy or whatever to do it. I'm glad the thought occurred to me because since my neck is pretty fucked, I definitely want them to work on it. Hence, my necklaces are off and my neck is naked once again. It's a really strange feeling that I just try not to think about too much.

Here's some background on the neck/necklace thing: photos of the last time I cut them off, naked neck vulnerability, and me finally putting them back on after a month.

So I have to put it out there, I have a neck fetish. It ties in with my obsession with vampires as well. I also really like tight jewelry that accentuates such parts, whether it's necklaces that bring attention to the neck or bracelets that enhance the appearance of hands. The term fetish goes both ways here, I love other peoples necks and I love when things are done to my neck. Love, love, love it. It's one of the few things that makes me totally and completely blank for a moment. Having my necklaces off is good and bad. Bad because when I touch my neck, something feels wrong because of the absence of the jewelry. It doesn't feel like me. A flash of panic strikes, followed by discomfort. I avoid this by not touching my neck and by not thinking about it. It's really odd. I also hate that I'm not wearing them when I'm out in public, like I am missing a part of my personality. That people aren't seeing the full me or something. I do actually get compliments on my pendants quite often and I think people like them because it gives them an excuse to touch my chest/throat area...which is usually women anyways. And then the excuse, along with my tattoo, for men to stare at my chest. The good thing about this nude neck thing is, well, a nude neck. I think it's really attractive and sensual. I also noticed now, with them gone, that it brings out something, my face perhaps. I look a little different, not better but beautiful in a different way. It's fascinating how drastic the presence and absence of something can be. On top of that my hair is clean and not funky, so it lays on my head flatter, rather than being weird and curvy. I also assume that the nakedness of my neck allows for more touching which is always nice. I hate that people tend to kind of work their way around my necklaces or just avoid my neck. It's really frustrating. It all reminds me when I used to have the whole back and sides of my head shaved and really wanted people to rub my head all the time but it didn't really happen [check this out too]. I just wish people would realize that these things are a part of me, all my jewelry and my dreadlocks, that it doesn't hurt and to just go about your business as if they aren't there at all. At least this time I'm pretty sure the guy I'm interested in won't have a problem paying attention to my neck. Eventually I'll go into more detail about the necklaces and another time, the neck fetish.

And later tonight or within the next few days I will describe my first massage experience.

The interesting thing about me when it comes to massages is that I don't ever really relax. First of all, I rarely get them. I'm usually the person doing the massaging. It's one of my skills. I give them a lot and I can do them for very long periods of time. I have strong hands and I love giving affection. I've never really found partners that have given back nearly the same number of massages I have given them. But back to the fact that I don't really relax, I pay so much attention to touch, in general. I love touch and I cherish it, but I don't realize how tense I am until I really pay attention. For instance, I can't actually fall asleep if someone is caressing me, it will keep me up. In fact, it wakes me up just the same...I didn't fully realize how super sensitive I am.

Tonight I hope I can quickly get over the fact that I'm naked with a stranger and they're touching me and I can relax. I'm also curious if I will need to take my hearing aids off during the massage. If they have one of those tables that I put my face in, I may have to take them off to avoid discomfort and ringing due to pressure around them. Part of me just wants to take them off anyway, to really put myself in relaxation mode. But then there's the necessary communication that may need to take place. I'll see what happens.

I think I'm done for my mind ramblings for now.