"It frightened her and made her feel naked and vulnerable to his will."
"At the same time-when she looked down at his slumbering form and listened to him snoring-she felt that she had never before in her life had such a trust in another human being. She knew with absolute certainty that Mikael would never use what he knew about her to hurt her. It was not in his nature."
"The only thing they have never discussed was their relationship to each other. She did not dare, and Blomkvist never broached the subject."
"At some point on the morning of the second day she came to a terrifying realisation. She had no idea how it had happened or how she was supposed to cope with it. She was in love for the first time in her life."
"That he was almost twice her age did not bother her. Nor did the fact that at that moment he was one of the most newsworthy people in Sweden, and his picture was even on the cover of Newsweek-that was all just soap opera. But Blomkvist was no erotic fantasy or daydream. It would have to come to an end. It could not possibly work out. What did he need her for? Maybe she was just a way to pass the time while he waited for someone whose life was not a fucking rat hole."
"What she had realised was that love was that moment when your heart was about to burst."
I was most touched by that last line in the excerpt above. I know that feeling, and not just that love for someone else, but for anything. And that's exactly how I word it. In fact, my deviantART profile says the same thing...there was a mini survey on the main profile page. One question asks "Favourite style of art?" I answered it with "Whatever pleases the eyes and makes the heart burst." I get that feeling when I'm around friends, randomly, they'll do or say something that particularly strikes me and makes me cry or quite close, and then I will compliment them or tell them I love them. It's beyond that warm and fuzzy feeling. Art, film, literature, people, animals, nature, thoughts, and emotions all make me feel that way at some point. It's an absolutely wonderful feeling. I guess, despite the beautiful description, I was delighted to hear a similar and relatable "definition" for love. For it is one of the foremost things that no one can define nor agree on an all-encompassing definition. Which is a whole other discussion I've apparently been putting off writing about.
And in related but also tangent-like news/information I came across this website that lists major age gaps between celebrities that have been married or dated. I only randomly came across it because I went to look up Steve Martin's birth date, not necessarily his age but his sign. Then I was curious who his partner was and then found out her age. And there goes the tumbling effect of information and curiosity. I'm starting to become more and more fascinated by the societal views, stigmas, lack of stigmas, regarding the age gaps between people that date in the perspective of genders and directed to certain genders and of course including varying sexual orientation. There's so many terms, so many types, cougars, manthers, cradle-robbers, [literal] motherfuckers, grave-diggers/robbers, and whatever else you could think of. Not only the dating aspect, but the idea of beauty [another complex thing to define] and cultural perceptions of attraction when it comes to combination of age and gender are also very interesting.
There's so much more I'm thinking and figuring out that I'm not writing. Some moments are more appropriate than others.
Speaking of love and dating...I have a question. One of which I have my own answer for, but it is a thought that I think people should think about. Something I think at least everyone has experienced some time in their life in one way or another. Let me paint the picture. Put into your mind the millions and millions of love films, songs, literature, clichés, phrases, words, actions, etc. And now narrow it down to those that are directed at women. I'm not excluding the sexes here, but since I am female and my personal question refers to that in a general sense [for convenience]. So for another convenience's sake, let's say women are "brainwashed" with these images, words, etc. Despite the negative and unrealistic connotations to the word "brainwashed," does this put women, us, in a fantasy world? Does that make us have unrealistic expectations and desires? For instance, to have at least some of those horribly awesome romantic things said and done for them. To be loved so much and unconditionally by someone else. For someone to love every or nearly every goddamn quirk and trait and even vice versa. To be so absurdly into them. And no one else.
Most importantly, I'm intensely curious to hear a male's perspective on this issue.
My answer to my question is no. No, it is not unrealistic for us to want these things. I say so for two reasons. First, I have actually witness such a love. I can name at least two people who have this ridiculous love for their partner, which grows daily, and they do what they can to show it, and most importantly the way they speak of it. Second, I believe people have the right to want what they want. The act of wanting in human beings is very fascinating and very strong. I believe fantasy can be dangerous, but yet also very liberating. I'm a sane and rational person, but there is a large part of my internal personality that revels in fantasy. Bottom line is, want whatever it is you want, no matter how "unrealistic", "fantasy-like", "demanding", etc.
How else do you get the desired without wanting.
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