4.16.2010

As I Awake From My Slumber

Delusional, I believed I could cure it all
For you dear
Coax or trick or drive or
Drag the demons from you
Make it right for you, Sleeping Beauty
Truly thought I could magically heal you

Far beyond a visible
Sign of your awakening
Failing miserably to rescue
Sleeping Beauty

Drunk on ego
Truly thought I could make it right
If I, kissed you one more time to
Help you face the nightmare,
But you're far too poisoned for me
Such a fool to think that I could
Wake you from your slumber
That I could actually heal you

Sleeping Beauty
Poisoned and hopeless

Far beyond a visible
Sign of your awakening
Failing miserably to
Find a way to comfort you
Far beyond a visible
Sign of your awakening,
Hiding from some poisoned memory

Poisoned and hopeless
Sleeping Beauty

Before I get into my dreams, today is the Day of Silence. Which I cannot enforce for myself since I have to work today. But I will be going to the Arizona Pride Festival tomorrow, which I'm very excited about.

Today I woke up twice from two different and depressing dreams. Not deathly depressing but just raw emotionally depressing. The first involved some strong sense of loneliness, something of which I've never felt in a dream. This was relationship loneliness too, it was some sort of feeling of despair like that of a break up. Further putting me down that negative emotional hole, my cousin was treating me like a complete asshole and I was yelling at him about how bad and frustrated he makes me feel. Of course, when I woke up from that I felt that same horribly depressing feeling. But I was so grateful when reality slipped back into my mind and thoughts of the special one flooded in. It was so strange. I was so weak in the dream, so fragile and so pitiful. I have not felt like that in quite a long time, if ever. So why did I dream about it? Intense as the emotions were that I could still identify with them, it was so different from how I am. Generally my dreams reflect emotions of which are realistically like mine. And to have that transfer over to my waking life. Makes me happy that reality had far brighter things to snap me right out of it.

To dream that you are in a fight, indicates inner turmoil. Some aspect of yourself is in conflict with another aspect of yourself. Perhaps an unresolved or unacknowledged part is fighting for its right to be heard. It may also parallel a fight or struggle that you are going through in your waking life.
To dream that you are being rejected, signifies a lack of self-worth and alienation of others.If you are being rejected by a lover, then it suggests that you are you are rejecting some part of your own characteristic.
To dream that someone or something is bigger than normal, indicates that you either have an inflated opinion of yourself or of someone. You may be expressing a desire to be more dominant in some situation or relationship.
To dream that you feel frustrated, represents your difficulty in coping with a situation in your daily life. It may reflect your concerns that your life is not going in the direction you want.


The second dream was much more epic and is quite difficult for me to explain. But to sum it up, it involved my brother and I on some mission which ranged from helping a group of deaf people, to something personal to us, to my extended family. It involved his car falling into a lake and ruining our mission and our angry extended family, a bunch of fish just like Flounder from The Little Mermaid amongst many other things.

To see water in your dream, symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment. If the water is calm, clear, then it signifies that you are in tune with your spirituality. It denotes serenity, peace of mind, and rejuvenation. If you are splashed by water, then it represents your need to be revitalized and more expressive. To dream that water is boiling, suggests that you are expressing some emotional turmoil. It also may mean that feelings from your unconscious are surfacing and ready to be acknowledged. You need to let out some steam.
Orange denotes hope, friendliness, courtesy, lively, sociability, and an out-going nature. You may want to expand your horizons and look into new interests.
To see fish swimming in your dream, signifies insights from your unconscious mind. Thus to catch a fish, represents insights which have been brought to the surface. Alternatively, a fish swimming in your dream may symbolize conception. Some women dream of swimming fish when they get pregnant. The fish is also an ancient symbol of Christianity and Christian beliefs. Consider also the common phrases "like a cold fish", "fish out of water" or something that is "fishy" about a situation. It may also imply a slippery or elusive situation.
To see fish swimming in your dream, signifies insights from your unconscious mind. Thus to catch a fish, represents insights which have been brought to the surface. Alternatively, a fish swimming in your dream may symbolize conception. Some women dream of swimming fish when they get pregnant. The fish is also an ancient symbol of Christianity and Christian beliefs. Consider also the common phrases "like a cold fish", "fish out of water" or something that is "fishy" about a situation. It may also imply a slippery or elusive situation.
To see snow in your dream, signifies your inhibitions, repressed/unexpressed emotions and feelings of frigidity. You need to release and express these emotions and inhibitions. You may also be feeling indifferent, alone and neglected. If the snow is melting, then it suggests that you are acknowledging and releasing emotions you have repressed. You are overcoming your fears and obstacles. If the snow is dirty, then it refers to a loss in innocence, impurity and uncleanness. Some aspect of yourself or situation has been tainted.
To dream of failure, signifies fears of inadequacy and low self-esteem. You are not applying yourself to the fullest potential. Or you are overwhelmed with anxiety and the pressure to excel.


It is interesting to note that family members were involved in both of these dreams and they were angry. Driving also, as I was a passenger and both vehicles were very conspicuous.

To see your own family in your dream, represents security, warmth and love. It could also symbolize bitterness, jealousy, or rivalry, depending on your relationship with your family. Alternatively, it could mean that you are overly dependent on your family, especially if the family members are in your recurring dreams .Consider also the significance of a particular family member or the relationship you have with them.
To dream that you are holding or expressing anger, symbolizes frustrations and disappointments in your Self. You tend to repress your negative emotions or project your anger onto others. You need to look within yourself.
To dream that you are riding in a vehicle (car, boat, trains, etc.), denotes that you are in control of your life. Alternatively, the dream means that others are exerting power over you, depending on who is in the driver's seat.
To dream that you are riding in an automobile, signifies that even in pleasant situations, you will still be restless and uneasy.
To dream that you are driving a car, denotes your ambition, your drive and your ability to navigate from one stage of your life to another. Consider how smooth or rough the car ride is. If you are driving the car, then you are taking an active role in the way your life is going. However, if you are the passenger, then you are taking a passive role. If you are in the backseat of the car, then it indicates that you are putting yourself down and are allowing others to take over. This may be a result of low self-esteem or low self-confidence. Overall, this dream symbol is an indication of your dependence and degree of control you have on your life.
To see a parked car in your dream, suggests that you need to turn your efforts and energies elsewhere. You may be needlessly spending your energy in a fruitless endeavor. Alternatively, a parked car may symbolize your need to stop and enjoy life. To dream that you cannot find where you parked your car, suggests that you do not know where you want to go in life.
To see a truck in your dream, suggests that you are overworked. You are taking on too many tasks and are weighed down by all the responsibilities. On a side note, pregnant women often dream of trucks or driving trucks. This may be a metaphor of the load they are are carrying or an expression of their changing bodies.

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