Black Light District

Listen.

Blaming global infection
for the illness in him
Little knowledge of the non-affection
between him and his kin
Old, grey, bitter, anxious and collapsed
Like a wallflower once blooming
Withered to apparent death
Blaming the guilt
Crying the tears
Torture the pain
Leaving the emptiness behind
Apparently he had no reason
To harbour the trust
He'd forsaken inside.
Apparently he left his reasons
Forsaken the trust
that harboured within
Walk, I cannot walk
For I am blind, blinded I am
By the pitch of dark, so dark is it
The narrow street, never ending narrow
Clogs my throat
Silently I try,
Try to walk, blinded by the pitch
The narrow darkness, clogs the street
I am speechless
I am speechless
Fear puts a rush on my steps
As I stare into the spinning depth
The end is not near the sight that I am hoping for
And all the light that paves the way for me
Is the wish and will for the end to see
The bright light is the end of the black light district
-"Black Light District" by The Gathering

This post is going to have a lot of too much information, some of which I will repress.

This morning I remembered a majority of my dream which hasn't really happened at all the past week or so. I've been remembering little parts or barely even that. I wake up and abruptly think of other things that have been consuming my mind for far too long. These thoughts have been easing somewhat and therefore I'm remembering more of my dreams again. I do not wish to describe most of the dream except for one little part. I had my tongue split like the Lizardman. I know this creeped into my dreams because I do have a friend that has his tongue like that. I had a different friend in the dream [whom I don't recognize from reality] who also had a split tongue and him and I were in some sort of grocery store in which a old woman noticed my tongue and made a comment and I said something about my tongue not being split as far down as my friends. Pretty funny.

I want to see the film Jamón, jamón another one with Javier Bardem. That bastard. Oh! and Mouth to Mouth!!! Fuck.
I'm completely and utterly voyeuristic when it comes to kissing. I have kind of talked about some aspect of this in previous posts, usually referring to the quality of kissing in Hollywood films and how much they annoy me. For the most part, more so if the kisses are actually more realistic, I still find a lot of pleasure in watching them in film. To be honest, film like that, especially when I was younger was my porn. What I'm about to say may seem a bit of a contradiction but I guess to be honest, I'm still figuring it out what it is about kissing to me. But I find kissing to be very intimate and personal, however it's not really hard for me to kiss others or I may even not expect more involvement with a person after kissing them. Yeah, alcohol has been involved but when it really comes down to it, it's hard for me to stop a kiss. If it actually does manage to land on my lips, I may end it short, but I pretty much will never stop it right away. And I have also noticed that I tend to make the move more than 50% of the time. I have kissed a few people I have not necessarily been serious about, which may be common to some people but at the same time I've always viewed kissing as a big deal and generally taken seriously in which I have the means of wanting to be further involved with that person. Well, to sum up my realization of this specific thought: those who I initiate the kiss with are those that I do have at least some serious likeness or desire for them. Those whom I have kissed but did not initiate the kiss may or may not be of any interests to me . It's 50/50. And regardless of the interests or lack thereof, I'm addicted to kissing. I can do it forever and I get a lot of compliments on my kissing. Another thing about kissing is that it is a complete necessity for me. I cannot go on to other forms of foreplay with out it. That is if I'm initiating the sexual act, which is generally what I am doing if I am kissing someone. When I'm involved with someone, kissing is not just kissing to me. Oh no. Well, needless to say, I love it.

I gotta say, I miss Virgos in bed.

I guess this will also be related to this rather sexual post. Hedonism. I love the word. Love the meaning. I guess I would call myself a selective hedonistic. As in, of course, I don't hedonistically explore the so called wonderful world of drugs or other such extreme things. However, I do enjoy the senses as I have explained over and over again. I do enjoy tasting great foods and drinks. I do enjoy a majority of sensual and sexual pleasures. I've noticed with my experience with people that I tend to be more sensitive than others they may have been with. Usually my first response to such a statement is that I don't take things like that for granted. People would enjoy things more [sexual or not] if they wouldn't take so much in this world for granted. Best be attuned to your body and the experiences you have with it.