Sleeping Dogs Lie

I realized since Sparky is dead, I feel like he's a stranger to me now. I feel that distance everytime I look at my phone with his picture on it. I feel, since he is gone, I no longer know him. It's kind of strange to me.

So I think that I remember things very well because of my repetitive mind. Yes, sounds obvious, if you repeat things you remember them. But it's not like I do this on purpose, this is just what my obsessive mind does. For example, to remember my dreams in the morning, I do so by either writing them out to someone or just to myself. If I'm not writing them, I at least always replay them in my head, going through all the details. Or simply I tell someone about it. Whichever option I so happen have the time to do. This is the same when I'm trying to remember a night out drinking. The next day I always forget some things, it's usually kind of patchy. Things I usually forget are just bits and pieces of conversations. If someone mentions it to me, I'll remember right away, but I kind of need that memory trigger. This happens with my dreams too. But usually, the morning after a night of drinking I will replay the night in my mind remembering as much as I can. As with everything else, certain things do stick in my mind instantly, and usually those are visual. For example, my sense of direction is very good, usually when I go to a place once, I'll remember how to get there any time after, because I can visualize it. And numbers, as I may have said before, always stay with me. I remember the birthdays of childhood friends, or even strangers that I may have met a couple times. My mind is kind of like a big database. I love it. So long as I actually heard the information correctly, I'll remember it.

As for other ramblings. Last night I was thinking about intuition, predictability, and actuality. How do we really know if they aren't all exactly the same thing? Let's see if I can explain this coherently and retrace my previous thought process. Intuition, you get feelings that people are a certain way, are about to do a certain thing, or that something is about to happen. And you're right. But what if, what if the world really just is that predictable and intuition just doesn't exist at all. A very simple example I have is the radio. Sometimes there's a song I just feel like is going to be on, maybe I thought I heard it playing but it was a different song, then after that, it actually does come on. The radio is predictable, I know. However, what if, what if we are all connected. That some message from my mind went out and that radio DJ happen to receive it. I'm not going to focus on the oddity or possible religious/spiritual aspects of this concept. I'm merely contemplating it in an artistic/poetic sense. It reminds me of a quote from the short film Sleeping Dogs Lie, "Maybe everything we whisper never really dies, it's just out there drifting in the air, waiting for the right antenna." Watch the trailer here. Its a film from 2005 that features Maynard James Keenan, it's not so bad. Anyways it's just something to think about. What if we really do know everything that is going to happen but we don't know it. So we call it intuition, and it only happens every now and then, when you pay attention to it. Or what if everything in this goddamn world really just is that predictable.

I'm feeling a bit of both sides.

Knowledge...is an amazing thing. This is a reason why I study humans. It's a never-ending mystery. And it sure as hell stimulates me enough.