I wanted to take the time to describe something unrelated. The two pictures that are in my previous post and in this one, of blurry unfocused lights. I included those since it was an opening and closing theme for The Time Traveler's Wife, and it can be seen in Focus Films clips before films. I have a peculiar likeness for those. It all starts back many years ago, Christmas time. I personally love Christmas lights, it's probably the colors and the fact that they are lights [both make me very happy] So every year my dad doesn't really want to put the lights up anymore but I give him a hard time about it, so he eventually does. The lights go along the whole front of my house, they shine their colors through almost every room. The bathroom, in particular, is my favorite. There is a window in my shower, and you know how those windows are made to be hard to see through. The Christmas lights shine through into the shower in that kind of fashion, almost like the photos. I would just take showers at night without any lights on but the Christmas ones. And usually when my dad finishes putting up the lights I'll stand before my house and unfocus my eyes and just stare at the light orbs everywhere. It is one of those good memories, that I'll keep with me forever.8.14.2009
“You Can't Change the Past, But You Can Ruin the Present by Worrying About the Future”
Since I've lost a great deal of faith in the future, love, and relationships, I've lost a great deal of the fantasy, dreamer part of me. Love stories used to make me choke up and make me hope. Now, love stories make me criticize and analyze. I don't dream like that any more. In a way it's good, in a way it is not. It's not mostly due to that being a good deal of my personality, that has existed as far as I can remember. It's good, because it's realistic. Humans have this amazing capability to love unconditionally. Yet, as humans, we are never satisfied. You can never be fully happy with everything or anyone. Something always annoys us, and that annoys me. I haven't lost all of the dreamer in me, however! I've been recently told in plain words that I'm very hard on myself. It's true, I've realized that I try to be perfect in everything or at least want to be. And I beat myself up over things, little and big. I still dream. That is one big major thing that seeing that film has made me realize. I wanted to take the time to describe something unrelated. The two pictures that are in my previous post and in this one, of blurry unfocused lights. I included those since it was an opening and closing theme for The Time Traveler's Wife, and it can be seen in Focus Films clips before films. I have a peculiar likeness for those. It all starts back many years ago, Christmas time. I personally love Christmas lights, it's probably the colors and the fact that they are lights [both make me very happy] So every year my dad doesn't really want to put the lights up anymore but I give him a hard time about it, so he eventually does. The lights go along the whole front of my house, they shine their colors through almost every room. The bathroom, in particular, is my favorite. There is a window in my shower, and you know how those windows are made to be hard to see through. The Christmas lights shine through into the shower in that kind of fashion, almost like the photos. I would just take showers at night without any lights on but the Christmas ones. And usually when my dad finishes putting up the lights I'll stand before my house and unfocus my eyes and just stare at the light orbs everywhere. It is one of those good memories, that I'll keep with me forever.
I wanted to take the time to describe something unrelated. The two pictures that are in my previous post and in this one, of blurry unfocused lights. I included those since it was an opening and closing theme for The Time Traveler's Wife, and it can be seen in Focus Films clips before films. I have a peculiar likeness for those. It all starts back many years ago, Christmas time. I personally love Christmas lights, it's probably the colors and the fact that they are lights [both make me very happy] So every year my dad doesn't really want to put the lights up anymore but I give him a hard time about it, so he eventually does. The lights go along the whole front of my house, they shine their colors through almost every room. The bathroom, in particular, is my favorite. There is a window in my shower, and you know how those windows are made to be hard to see through. The Christmas lights shine through into the shower in that kind of fashion, almost like the photos. I would just take showers at night without any lights on but the Christmas ones. And usually when my dad finishes putting up the lights I'll stand before my house and unfocus my eyes and just stare at the light orbs everywhere. It is one of those good memories, that I'll keep with me forever.
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2 comments:
Christmas Lights! Oh man i know exactly what you mean on pretty much everything in your entry... My own imagination isn't what it use to be due to things i've experiencd and thus changes that i've gone through. That picture (as well as the one in the last entry) reminds me of the visuals that were shown in Punch-Drunk Love, and i too can see the christmas light connection. There's just something warm and comforting about christmas lights. i get a sense of total nostalgia whenever i happen to see them. When you stand outside and unfocus your eyes on your house, i bet that image you see looks just incredible. Sounds like it would make a pretty awesome picture...
Its funny that you talk about being perfect. No one thinks they are perfect, and even the most seemingly self-absorbed people are hard on theirselves. but you are perfect. because perfect is like normal... it doesnt mean the same thing to anyone.
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