As I Wander

Happy birthday to my best friend whom I have no idea where to locate. Even though it's not unusual, it never happened. I knocked on the door, waited, looked through the window. Emptiness. She is gone. Where, I do not know for sure. I have no way to contact her but to only wait.

Last night, drunken wanderings on starlit, street lamp lined roads of downtown Phoenix, I found myself looking at the trees. Trees marked with an X, just like those of Fern Gully. It actually made me sad seeing that, but poetic at the same time. Just some sort of deep thoughts going on for the whole night. It's so nice to be stimulated on that level. I've come to realization that I don't get to do that a whole lot. I mean, I always kind of knew that. But now, I have more people that I have meaningful conversations more than I have had in the past. Yet, there's those life changing conversations that delve so much deeper that don't happen nearly as much as they should. My appreciation for those moments are more than words.

Another thing to point out, I've always had Scorpios in my life. I thought Virgos were after me, but no, nothing compared to the constant Scorpios by my side. One replacing another and another and another and another. They're usually females, at least the ones I get closer to. Although some have been pretty crazy and/or evil, they all have a very intimate place in my heart and are most easily never forgotten. Every single one of them. I love that they are the ones I don't have to really rationalize or justify my thoughts and opinions. They do not judge me. It very much thrills me to be able to express what is on my mind, but I absolutely hate the ones who have to pick it apart and make me recoil [usually the earthly Virgos]. Expressing myself is the best way for me to figure that all out. How am I supposed to back things up and fully describe things when I'm just now in the second step of feeling it. That is the way I process. I need to speak the words, they help more than some might think. Separating them from mind and hearing them. That's where more dissecting happens. To summarize, Scorpios get me. And I love them.