Genius

Originally written Friday, June 26th, 2009:
After I see a movie, nothing else matters.
I fully realize why I enjoy going to theaters alone so much. People usually kill the mood for me afterwards. I feel amazing and nothing in the world bothers me. Almost invincible. I hate talking after a movie, yet I'm the first to start when I do see it with others. I think I just do it to get it out of the way since it's inevitable anyways. I personally enjoy the world I enter which temporarily ceases. If I have the chance I do anything in my will to prolong it.
It has been long overdue for me going to the movie theater alone. The last movie I saw by myself was.....I can't even remember! Anyways I feel refreshed to have done it and I want to kick myself in the ass for not doing it as often anymore. I just saw Little Ashes and people that actually have some knowledge of Salvador Dali and aren't seeing it just for Robert Pattinson will appreciate it more. I definitely did. In fact, it only refueled my desire to study more of Dali. Robert did a good job being an eccentric genius. In fact I want to give more credit to the other actor, Javier Beltrán, who played Federico García Lorca. He wasn't as awkward as Rob [which actually worked in Rob's favor in playing Dali], but Javier was amazing and I grew a good likeness for him. He did especially great in the intimate scenes with Rob. You can just feel the realness come off him. It was just more authentic, natural to me. I loved the random references to Dali such as the signature stache, the pose, the quotes. Plus, the actress who played Gala was just amazingly visually accurate. I was taken aback when I saw her, my mouth may have dropped open. I wouldn't actually mind seeing it again. And as you may be waiting for me to say, it was indeed hot, or sexy, if you will. I will not deny the blood rushing to my private parts during certain scenes. Also, I really liked how it was filmed, kind of in an old fashioned sense and all the colors were grainy and very low in contrast. It was overall darker. Robert Pattinson makes a beautiful Spanish man, his attire fit him very well, in my opinion, as well. The only awkward thing for me was Rob's voice/accent or lack thereof.
I gotta say though, since it was an independent film, it was playing at basically the only independent film theater in town. Which all the previews are those of independent/foreign films, and every time I go there [which isn't often enough] I like just about every preview I see. It makes me feel so behind in all the films they play there. Ideally, I'd like to see them all. 2 in particular that I saw tonight were Paper Heart and 500 Days of Summer, that look really good. Man, I don't know how many times I could say that there are so many movies I'd like to see. Books too. I had to talk myself out of buying a few books today while I was hanging out at Borders. I just can't spend so much when I can get them cheaper through Amazon. I am currently waiting to borrow an Anne Rice erotica trilogy from a friend, I'm so excited.
When I got out of the theater tonight I didn't want to go home, I just wanted to sit outside somewhere. I knew of a park on the way home. Pulled in and drove right out. I wish there were parks I can hang out at during the night and not feel like I am going to get raped. So I decided to go to my cousin's place of work and write this out until he closes the cafe.
I love when I get intellectually drunk, so I call it. I get into these really deep conversations and rants and rambles. The things I say apparently are more poetic than when I'm sober or over thinking them. I actually forgot half, if not a majority of what I said. Luckily my dear friend with whom I had this conversation with remembers the cool shit I said. I was talking about something along the lines that I don't want to be controlled by anyone or anything. That I am a tool, of everyone, society, everything. Freedom would be just about the only thing to make life worth living. I just found that out today, that I said that. I thought it was pretty awesome, not that I don't feel that way. I do, but the way it was worded just, kind of gave me goosebumps. Man, I just fucking love conversations like that, with worthy beings. Thinking now, I've come back in this circle to a more emotional, deep phase in my state of mind in life. This happened to me earlier this year-tons of self discoveries-it faded out and now has come back full force. Which is great, I love moments like these, when I have a hell of a lot to write about.