For Mom & Dad

My niece is turning one year old next weekend, spending time with her and my family is reminding me more of my childhood, the good memories, the little things of my parents. I want to take the time to make a list of each little thing I can remember that each of my parents did with my brother and I as a kid. I should also mention in the last couple of weeks I have had a few dreams of my parents and my brother. I know this is because I have been watching Kitchen Nightmares lately, and due to a lot of the family dynamics in the restaurant business that was displayed, it has made me think of my family more consciously and subconsciously.

Dad

• He read us stories. I especially cherished when he read us Christmas stories during the holiday season.
• He would tickle us to no end. It hurt mostly because of his brute hands, but he took so much joy out of it. He wouldn't even touch me and I would start a giggling fit. 
• He would crawl on his hands and knees and we would tackle him and try to take him down.
• He woke me up most of my childhood and even as I was a teenager until I got my own alarm clock made for deaf people. He did this by turning the light on in my room, and often times getting the dogs riled up and had them jump on my bed and lick me until I was awake. This was annoying sometimes but still a memory nonetheless.
• He cooked breakfast or got McDonald's breakfast most Sundays and we would look at the newspaper and eat together.
• We watched a lot of TV together, especially The Simpsons. Every time my dad laughed at something, he would look at me. Again, this annoyed me, but as time passes, it's endearing.
• My dad was almost always reading, this has stayed with me and given me a passion to read as well.
• My dad, as long as I have been alive, is a self employed home improvement and repairs man. He always fixed and built things around the house, this installed in me, the value of self sufficiency and learning to do such things.
• When I started doing arithmetic in school, my mom was no good at math, so my dad would help me with my homework. This was sometimes frustrating, but something I still remember and value. Eventually, I had to learn to do more complex math on my own.
• He helped me start my first bank account. I was always good at saving my money, mostly because my dad is cheap and we always bought generic things. This taught me to save and buy equally valuable products regardless of brand names. 
• My dad and my mom taught me how to drive, but it was mostly my dad, and usually involved yelling. I have a fond memory of one of our camping trips, we were driving and I always paid attention to the road when others were driving. Always looking at the cars around us and the signs. I remember saying something about the upcoming road because I read the sign. He said, "You'll be a really good driver some day." Always remember that.
• He gave me my passion for cars. I paid attention to them because of him, my brother, and all the male friends we had at the time.
• I'm sure my mom plays a part in it, but I distinctively remember my dad teaching me how to read. I remember walking the dogs and we came upon a Toyota truck, and he taught me how to read "Toyota" by sounding it out.
• My parents owned a dog prior to my birth, he watched over me until I was about 7 years old when he passed. This dog, and my dad's love for him, gave me the passion for dogs. We used to take this dog to my elementary school playground and run amok. We always walked the dogs together and played together.
• My dad helped me become a better soccer player. We went to that same school playground/field and I was goalie and he just kicked balls at me for a long time. I relentlessly caught most of them, regardless of my injuries.
• We also played basketball in our carport once he installed a basketball hoop. My brother and I played many games together and with him.
• Anything my dad was working on, I would ask questions and he would educate me. It was not only a learning experience but a bonding one too. This expands to anything from something he is repairing, building, working on cars, painting, math, measuring, etc.
• On weekends, I think Sundays, we would watch The Three Stooges together and just laugh.
• My dad was the one that mostly did laundry in the house. This was a task I learned much later in life, but thanks to him.
• Because of my dad's job, his back was always hurting him, he even blew it out quite a few times. Often at night he would let me walk on his back and give him massages. I definitely consider myself a good masseuse because of all this practice.
• As I said for my mom, my dad also always apologized after yelling at us. That kind of tough love is what he had. It showed he cared.
• My dad got a breadmaker at some point and would make a big deal about making bread, it kind of became a team thing we would do together every now and then.
• For several Halloweens, we would carve our pumpkins and then my dad would bake the seeds.
• Dad gave us our first "job", we worked with him during the summers at a residential community doing yard work. We also went with him to other jobs at family friend's houses. Doing anything from wallpaper removal, painting, and other such home improvements.
• Dad is an incredibly loud sneezer. Something that we can hear in any room in the house. My brother and I are well aware of this and happen to do the same, almost as a tribute to him. I also find this to be the most satisfying way to sneeze.
• I was a very picky eater when I was young and really didn't and still don't like fat on red meat and would always give my leftovers to my dad.
• A lot of my memories with my dad as I was older revolve around dinner time. Him and I would prepare dinner together. I usually made salads, he would cook or barbeque meat. Drinking milk was a big thing in our family and I would get a glass for him and I. He still drinks from the same cups we have always had.

Mom

• My mom didn't read as frequently and consistently as my dad, but it was known that if she did read anything, she would stay up until she finished it.
• When I was learning to drive with my mom, she was more relaxed, so it relaxed me more.
• As an artist herself, she encourage the arts, my writing and drawing. She was free spirited and extremely supportive.
• My mom got me into astrology, a passion that really blossomed when I became a teenager.
• We would sit on the patio while she smoked cigarettes and discuss life and other deep concepts. She really helped me open my mind and explore things. Even if she had different views. Most of these discussions resulted in tears, but good tears. I really appreciated these moments deeply.
• I learned how to clean because of my mom, traditional as it is, but I notice now how similar we are in that fashion.
• As I know now, I have IBS, but did not know this as a kid. I know I had bouts of constipation and severe pain. My mom was the only source of comfort I had for this. If I was in the bathroom experiencing immense pain, I would call on her. She would just sit on the floor of the bathroom and be there. All I needed was her presence.
• Anytime my mom got mad at me, which wasn't as frequently as she did with my brother, if she yelled or anything, she would always come back to me and apologize. This I find to be a good trait, that has shaped me.
• My mom made homemade meals most nights. I was a pretty picky eater and eventually got better, but she installed a passion in me for healthy foods. Every night we would have a plate of raw vegetables or a bowl of salad, prior to our meal. This is something I still enjoy to this day and something I make well. I love making epic tasty salads because of her. She also made awesome guacamole, a recipe I still use.
• My house was the house that a lot of friends would hang out at, especially for dinner or overnight. My mom was a great host and people really enjoyed coming over to homemade meals and warmth.
• Ever since I was a baby until I was quite young, my mom always blew raspberries into my stomach. She always loved to do that and it tickled like hell. It is still a very sensitive spot on my body.
• She loved music, very passionate about it. She sang a lot. She didn't have a great voice but she always liked what we liked and encouraged that. She took my brother and I to our first concert, Linkin Park, when I was 13. I have been to a handful of concerts with her during my teenage years.
• As long as my mom lived with us, she almost always tucked me in. She literally tucked me in all while I was young, gave me kisses and wished me sweet dreams. Something I still do to others.
• We talked about the dreams we had. I used to do this with friends that slept over, whenever we woke up, I would talk about the dreams I had. I know I do this because it was something my mom and I did. Our dreams were very different. She never dreams about people she knows, they are always foreign, although in the last few years she has had more dreams about people she knows and still shares them with me.
• My mom took me to get my first tattoo when I was 17. She also went with me for my last one just a year ago. This was a fun experience.
• Once I got a little older and held a job and had money, mom and I would go shopping together. We enjoy it very much and still do it today. It started with trips to downtown Tempe every pay day for a couple years. On one of these trips it was just a couple days before my birthday and I joked about getting a tattoo and she looked at me like it was a possibility. She said I had to ask my dad and that's what I did that night and we went the next day!
• When my mom cooked, she would let us help her but mostly wanted us out of the kitchen, so she would give us little tasks to help with. I also learned baking with her.
• My mom, several times, had made our costumes by hand and with a sewing machine. When I see photos of our costumes, I'm in awe at how awesome and cute they were. I don't ever remember directly getting lessons from her but I did learn how to sew, also probably with the help of my grandma. Mom always took us treat or treating, I don't think she cared too much about Halloween if it weren't for us kids. She really enjoyed doing it with us and we always had a blast.
• Plain and simple, my mom was great at gift giving. Every Christmas, my brother and I would wake up super early and we were allowed to open our stockings prior to our parents waking up. She got really creative with the gifts she put in there. It was one of the funnest part of our morning. 
• Starting when I was about 12, my brother was into BMXing, him and his large group of guy friends would go to BMX races. My dad attended some of these, but mostly it was my mom that took us. They were always far southeast or north from our house depending where we were going. It would be us and a friend or 3 and we would drive out there every few Friday or Saturday nights. We would blast rock music and drive out there, watch the races, eat junk food, stop by a late hour Basha's and grab food to go for the ride home. This happened for at least a few years. One of the absolute funnest time of my life.
• Since most of our family vacations where camping, we didn't have many more lavish vacations. At one point, prior to my parents divorce, when things were a bit more rough at home, I expressed a great need to have a staycation. My mom understood my need and felt the same way but we knew my dad would not approve but she took me anyways. We went shopping, bought new CDs and other stuff and stayed at a hotel only a couple miles away from home for a night. Just the two of us.
• During most summers mom would take us and some friends to the various lakes around Arizona. We would spend the whole day swimming and eating.
• My mom has always drank a ton of water throughout the day, she always had a special water bottle or glass. I didn't like water too much, but seemed to always want to drink hers. The thing she would always say to me is "Don't breathe in my water." Ha! It's hilarious to me now because I realize I drink water like a baby drinking from a bottle. I would sit there and just drink several gulps at a time, breathing in and out as I do it.

Both

• We ate dinner together in the dining room for a good chunk of my childhood, something that rarely seems to happen with families anymore.
• Both my parents always said "I love you," always gave hugs and kisses. Love and affection were given freely in our family. Not only was there affection towards us, but my parents had a lot of affectionate acts towards each other. Just thinking about it, my mind creates a montage of all the acts, something that I notice I give and crave from others.
• We camped a lot growing up, both my parents loved nature and were self sufficient. Insects didn't bother us, we fished, we learned to shoot guns [but didn't hunt, at least not us children], we hiked, bathed in the waters, swam, and boated. Tons of memories there.
• While I am not religious, my family engages in typical Christian traditions. Christmas season was always a fun and cozy time in our house. We would get our tree ourselves in Flagstaff or buy one, decorate it together and decorate the rest of the house. My dad usually did the Christmas lights outside while we helped and we would stand outside and admire it together.
• There weren't very many boundaries in our house, I had seen both of my parents naked on countless occasions. We always bothered or tried to hang out with my mom while she showered or was on the toilet. Sometimes my dad would bathe in our bathroom or take a dump and we would hang out with him. Obviously this changed as we got older, but it was pretty common earlier on.
• In our many camping trips, I have a few common fondest memories. Eating, especially lunch time, we would often have crackers, cheese, and braunschweiger. I remember one particular time my dad was joking about the insects crawling around, he caught one on the table and ate it, exclaiming, "Protein!". Another is nighttime by the fire. I don't remember speaking much, but we would sit around the fire and just stare and enjoy the moments in nature together.
• If we were ever sick, my mom was usually around to take care of us, but my dad was also very helpful and always wanted us to feel better. I make this note because not everyone likes to take care of others when they are ill, both my parents were well equipped and willing to do so.

This is a bulk of what I could remember, I'm sure there are a ton more memories. This was a fun experience remembering all this and knowing that my relationship with my parents are very good in these last several years.